I have never felt so patriotic in my life! I have never felt so proud to be a Malaysian. I believe we are right now at a spiritual cross-road to a breakthrough. Imagine, I can even break down & cry reading postings and comments on the Malaysia Today website! I have a desktop wallpaper of a SAYA ANAK BANGSA MALAYSIA poster here on my office computer. I am joining the fight to claim Malaysia back from corruption & evil. Maybe even going bald for RPK (?!) But I know I cannot afford to get too emotional. It is emotions that the enemy camp often use to incite undesireable responses.
Let's join the effort in praying to deliver Malaysia from evil...
Next week I'll be travelling to East Malaysia. Will be away for two weeks and probably will not be able to post any monthly updates till I return. Plz pray for the ministry. Preaching @ Tawau Baptist Church, teaching @ PLAB in Tawau, and teaching in Kuching. I'm looking forward to the exciting adventure. In the meantime, let's keep praying for the transformation of Malaysia.
SAYA ANAK BANGSA MALAYSIA !!!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Ministry Update: September 2008
Greetings from little me at a small corner on top of a hill over-looking the lush blue skies and green/muddy sea. Ministry has been an adventure. Many ups and downs. Yet He made all things beautiful in its own time. I am aware as many Malaysian Christians that we are entering or rather, in the midst of very crucial moments in our nation. There’s a bigger cause for the church, rather than the individual. All the more we should unite during these days of “birth pangs” to bring forth the birth of a re-newed nation.
I came back from the missions trip to North Sumatra a few weeks ago, but I may be going back there for a shorter period (about a week) in early December. It’s still semester break in campus now, so things are pretty slow moving (and lazy) until school reopens next Monday. There’s still obvious “situations” needing attention but often, things cannot be rushed. After the BM dept head left to return to the States last April/May, I was appointed to assume that role. However, an American missionary later came unexpectedly & demanded to be made the head of the BM dept (!?). For whatever reason, the School (president) submitted to that demand. (Perhaps to maintain the relationship of MBTS-IMB???) So, I had to sacrifice that position. Initially I was very upset. This person is not based in campus & only comes in half a day, twice a week and yet he demands to be called “director.” (??!!) But now, I feel sorry for him. Each time he sees me, he will talk about the “title.” I have no idea why he is so obsessed with the “title.” Doesn’t anyone ever tell him that ministry is not about titles and positions? Instead, it’s about how effective we are in ministry! If we cannot earn the respect and credibility of the people we work with, our ministry amounts to nothing! So how is the school management going to deal with this matter? They are pretty confused at the sudden change of events which upset the original plans but I was told they are working out job descriptions to clarify job boundaries.
I was at Bukit Mertajam Baptist Church together with some friends for the Merdeka Day Count-down Service. Jenny (Liew) & family, a Korean chap, a student from Hong Kong were there too. The pastor of the BM congregation is a student here & he is intending to hold this sort of service as an annual affair. There was an array of cultural display through traditional costume, songs, and dances; reflecting the diversity of Malaysia, united in Christ. An offering was collected as a contribution to the BM dept., MBTS. I’m so glad for the partnership of local churches, who are rising up to support the training of their leaders. Truly Malaysia belongs to Malaysians & the Malaysian church is the responsibility of Malaysian Christians.
This Sunday, I’ll be speaking at St Mark’s Church in Butterworth. Then I have some teaching sessions at a CG. But I can’t wait for October. End of last week I just realized my teaching assignments in East Malaysia is immediately after the Raya holidays. I have to get me tickets early & was glad I was able to secure a good deal. I travel on Friday to KK & meet up with Michelle. The next day travel to Tawau to spend the weekend with my students visiting their ministry/church. The following week I travel back to KK to catch a flight to Kuching for another week. There’ll be a weekend trip to KL the following week where the BM dept “troop” will visit an urban OA church. The date is still pending, so is my speaking engagement on the same weekend at BJAC (may have to swap with someone).
We are already in September. Soon we’ll be preparing for Christmas & welcoming a new year. I’m already starting to prepare my application to further my studies. In fact, just before I went to North Sumatra, I had the opportunity to meet my prospective research supervisor. If God willing and by His grace, I will pursue a study/research on leadership in a tribal group in Sabah or Sarawak
Once again, thank you for your partnership in ministry.
I came back from the missions trip to North Sumatra a few weeks ago, but I may be going back there for a shorter period (about a week) in early December. It’s still semester break in campus now, so things are pretty slow moving (and lazy) until school reopens next Monday. There’s still obvious “situations” needing attention but often, things cannot be rushed. After the BM dept head left to return to the States last April/May, I was appointed to assume that role. However, an American missionary later came unexpectedly & demanded to be made the head of the BM dept (!?). For whatever reason, the School (president) submitted to that demand. (Perhaps to maintain the relationship of MBTS-IMB???) So, I had to sacrifice that position. Initially I was very upset. This person is not based in campus & only comes in half a day, twice a week and yet he demands to be called “director.” (??!!) But now, I feel sorry for him. Each time he sees me, he will talk about the “title.” I have no idea why he is so obsessed with the “title.” Doesn’t anyone ever tell him that ministry is not about titles and positions? Instead, it’s about how effective we are in ministry! If we cannot earn the respect and credibility of the people we work with, our ministry amounts to nothing! So how is the school management going to deal with this matter? They are pretty confused at the sudden change of events which upset the original plans but I was told they are working out job descriptions to clarify job boundaries.
I was at Bukit Mertajam Baptist Church together with some friends for the Merdeka Day Count-down Service. Jenny (Liew) & family, a Korean chap, a student from Hong Kong were there too. The pastor of the BM congregation is a student here & he is intending to hold this sort of service as an annual affair. There was an array of cultural display through traditional costume, songs, and dances; reflecting the diversity of Malaysia, united in Christ. An offering was collected as a contribution to the BM dept., MBTS. I’m so glad for the partnership of local churches, who are rising up to support the training of their leaders. Truly Malaysia belongs to Malaysians & the Malaysian church is the responsibility of Malaysian Christians.
This Sunday, I’ll be speaking at St Mark’s Church in Butterworth. Then I have some teaching sessions at a CG. But I can’t wait for October. End of last week I just realized my teaching assignments in East Malaysia is immediately after the Raya holidays. I have to get me tickets early & was glad I was able to secure a good deal. I travel on Friday to KK & meet up with Michelle. The next day travel to Tawau to spend the weekend with my students visiting their ministry/church. The following week I travel back to KK to catch a flight to Kuching for another week. There’ll be a weekend trip to KL the following week where the BM dept “troop” will visit an urban OA church. The date is still pending, so is my speaking engagement on the same weekend at BJAC (may have to swap with someone).
We are already in September. Soon we’ll be preparing for Christmas & welcoming a new year. I’m already starting to prepare my application to further my studies. In fact, just before I went to North Sumatra, I had the opportunity to meet my prospective research supervisor. If God willing and by His grace, I will pursue a study/research on leadership in a tribal group in Sabah or Sarawak
Once again, thank you for your partnership in ministry.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Ministry Update: August 2008
So I'm back from the missions trip to North Sumatra. It sure was different from last year's trip. It's a different team with different dynamics. Apparent changes were seen in the field. Now back behind the desk facing the computer monitor, I'm faced with the obvious reality. Where is the Lord leading me? I want to be able to echo what the prophet Habbakuk wrote in Hab 3:17-18,
Hab 3:17 For though the fig-tree shall not flourish, Neither shall fruit be in the vines; The labor of the olive shall fail, And the fields shall yield no food; The flock shall be cut off from the fold, And there shall be no herd in the stalls:
Hab 3:18 Yet I will rejoice in Jehovah, I will joy in the God of my salvation.
it's difficult to be sincere and honest when considering the apparent "hypocrisy" around. We teach and stress so much on Asian theology and matters concerning self-theologizing, yet our conduct betray us. Secularism creeps into the church and we can only rationalize that we are fallen human beings! When is the "colonialization" of the church going to stop? I was appointed to head the BM Dept but suddenly one American missionary came & demand for that position, then the so-called school management bow to that demand. I am disillusioned with ministry. I really feel so pushed to the edge of giving up. What's the difference with the world if the church cannot champion truth within herself??? Again, we rationalize that we are fallen human being, confine to our limited limitations. If so, we are reducing the bigness of our God into a small match-box. We continue to be bias conforming to the traditional age and gender bias. There are areas in ministry strictly for specific gender - why? Where is our security? Can't we accept our strength & weakness and compliment each other to accomplish the task entrusted to us? Instead, each gender has to feel threatened to the extend of confining the other to their so-called specific roles. Policies, budget, etc were quoted to discourage me from furthering my studies, but the bottom-line I can discern is, I'm not a man.
The events from the start of the year seem to be like "birth pangs" and I don't know what it's leading to. I've encounter "attacks" and circumstances that seem to contradict what God is speaking to me. Sure I want to maintain the faith to declare like Habbakuk that I can still rejoice despite the circumstances, but I doubt my own sincerity in pronouncing them. At this moment and circumstances, I'm in a position of readiness to go to anywhere the Lord may call me to, at anytime He chooses. I suppose, this is how I should be at all times. But I've learnt not to hold dear anything I've been entrusted with: be it ministry, fellowship, etc. We are pilgrims here on earth with no permanence.
A reflection of uncertainty is seen at the larger aspect of Malaysia as a nation. Events each day are building up its intensity, much like "birth pangs" to a new era.
To anyone reading this blog entry - I am a single lady Christian minister encountering challenges as she strives to live and minister by God's terms. Right now, I'm at the very edge of giving up. Disillusioned, discouraged, disappointed. Yet knowing God is faithful and His Word NEVER return to Him void.
Hab 3:17 For though the fig-tree shall not flourish, Neither shall fruit be in the vines; The labor of the olive shall fail, And the fields shall yield no food; The flock shall be cut off from the fold, And there shall be no herd in the stalls:
Hab 3:18 Yet I will rejoice in Jehovah, I will joy in the God of my salvation.
it's difficult to be sincere and honest when considering the apparent "hypocrisy" around. We teach and stress so much on Asian theology and matters concerning self-theologizing, yet our conduct betray us. Secularism creeps into the church and we can only rationalize that we are fallen human beings! When is the "colonialization" of the church going to stop? I was appointed to head the BM Dept but suddenly one American missionary came & demand for that position, then the so-called school management bow to that demand. I am disillusioned with ministry. I really feel so pushed to the edge of giving up. What's the difference with the world if the church cannot champion truth within herself??? Again, we rationalize that we are fallen human being, confine to our limited limitations. If so, we are reducing the bigness of our God into a small match-box. We continue to be bias conforming to the traditional age and gender bias. There are areas in ministry strictly for specific gender - why? Where is our security? Can't we accept our strength & weakness and compliment each other to accomplish the task entrusted to us? Instead, each gender has to feel threatened to the extend of confining the other to their so-called specific roles. Policies, budget, etc were quoted to discourage me from furthering my studies, but the bottom-line I can discern is, I'm not a man.
The events from the start of the year seem to be like "birth pangs" and I don't know what it's leading to. I've encounter "attacks" and circumstances that seem to contradict what God is speaking to me. Sure I want to maintain the faith to declare like Habbakuk that I can still rejoice despite the circumstances, but I doubt my own sincerity in pronouncing them. At this moment and circumstances, I'm in a position of readiness to go to anywhere the Lord may call me to, at anytime He chooses. I suppose, this is how I should be at all times. But I've learnt not to hold dear anything I've been entrusted with: be it ministry, fellowship, etc. We are pilgrims here on earth with no permanence.
A reflection of uncertainty is seen at the larger aspect of Malaysia as a nation. Events each day are building up its intensity, much like "birth pangs" to a new era.
To anyone reading this blog entry - I am a single lady Christian minister encountering challenges as she strives to live and minister by God's terms. Right now, I'm at the very edge of giving up. Disillusioned, discouraged, disappointed. Yet knowing God is faithful and His Word NEVER return to Him void.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Ministry Update: July 2008
Last Saturday I was preaching at a Saturday evening service. For the second time, I received the comment that I look more cheerful now that I’ve left the pastoral ministry! Is the pastoral ministry really that “miserable?” I suppose it’s the context of it. And the personality? I always tend to take “work” very seriously. Thus, each time I notice anything “less than Christian,” it grief me, upset me, disappoint me, etc…and I will feel miserable for weeks. At most times, the head knows how to respond but the heart just refuse to correspond appropriately. I’m still learning to accept that even within the Christian community, there are the “wheat & the weeds.” Each accountable to God & on that Day when we stand before the Great White Throne, judgment takes place. Because God is so gracious, He always gives an opportunity to repent.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
This is my Father's world
I really don't know if it is a good or bad thing that I tend to take ministry matters rather personally. After all, I rationalize that this is my Father's business. So, how can I not be upset when I notice how "unchristian" approaches are adopted into ministry? Is it right or wrong that I should be grieved at how worldliness has crept into the Christian community?
Since becoming a Christian, pastors/teachers taught me that the road to spiritual maturity is when we surrender more of self so that more of Christ will reign in our lives. When I was a pastor, I taught the church that life as a Christian require us to surrender our selfish rights and to allow God the full reign in us. As a preacher, I preach from the pulpit that we need to hunger for more of God in us. As a teacher, I teach students that Christ must be central to everything we do, hoping that my student pastors will teach the same thing to members of their church. I remember that shortly before I graduated with ThM, someone asked me what my plans are. I was asked what I have planned to see myself doing in 5 years time, in 10 years time. I insisted then that I will let the Lord lead me, I want to be in His will and to allow Him to have the final say in what I should do. Yet, the other person kept insisting to me that I must know/plan what I want to do in 5 years time, in 10 years time. As if it is not enough, a few weeks back another "senior Christian minister" asked me the same thing. "What do you see yourself doing in 5 years time, in 10 years time?" As if each of us must plan our lives, our ways. Isn't that the way of the world? I left that sort of lifestyle to be a Christian, then a Christian minister. I have surrendered my life to God and journeying towards a complete surrender so that God will fully reign in me & through me to accomplish His divine purpose on earth. But suddenly, I was told that I must be central to what I want to do. What happened? Isn't God the One who should be central? I suppose if I stop resisting and conform, life will definitely be easier. But my conscience tells me that I must not because the day will come when I stand before the Great White Throne, and I stand accountable for my own deeds. So, I may be a radical, a rebel to the "establishment" but I have decided to uphold my Christian principles. God is central & He will be central to everything I am/do.
Last Sunday the preacher in my home church was reminding us that it's pastors who "kill" churches when we preach incomplete truth. I agree to that. But more to that is that Christian leaders "murder" the church by adopting worldly standards to measure spirituality. It results in superficial Christianity that rob us of genuine worship. I pray that God will come to visit us here in Malaysia & to purify the church. Is it right that I pray for judgment to begin from the House of God to remove the "impurities" within the House? It's time to return to the foundation of our faith, something we seem to have forgotten. It's time to re-kindle that passion of first love for our God that seem to have deteriorate. It's time to restore a holy fear of God that seem to have diminish in our walk with God. I pray the church in Malaysia will awake from her spiritual slumber & understand the signs of the time & urgency of the day.
SB
Since becoming a Christian, pastors/teachers taught me that the road to spiritual maturity is when we surrender more of self so that more of Christ will reign in our lives. When I was a pastor, I taught the church that life as a Christian require us to surrender our selfish rights and to allow God the full reign in us. As a preacher, I preach from the pulpit that we need to hunger for more of God in us. As a teacher, I teach students that Christ must be central to everything we do, hoping that my student pastors will teach the same thing to members of their church. I remember that shortly before I graduated with ThM, someone asked me what my plans are. I was asked what I have planned to see myself doing in 5 years time, in 10 years time. I insisted then that I will let the Lord lead me, I want to be in His will and to allow Him to have the final say in what I should do. Yet, the other person kept insisting to me that I must know/plan what I want to do in 5 years time, in 10 years time. As if it is not enough, a few weeks back another "senior Christian minister" asked me the same thing. "What do you see yourself doing in 5 years time, in 10 years time?" As if each of us must plan our lives, our ways. Isn't that the way of the world? I left that sort of lifestyle to be a Christian, then a Christian minister. I have surrendered my life to God and journeying towards a complete surrender so that God will fully reign in me & through me to accomplish His divine purpose on earth. But suddenly, I was told that I must be central to what I want to do. What happened? Isn't God the One who should be central? I suppose if I stop resisting and conform, life will definitely be easier. But my conscience tells me that I must not because the day will come when I stand before the Great White Throne, and I stand accountable for my own deeds. So, I may be a radical, a rebel to the "establishment" but I have decided to uphold my Christian principles. God is central & He will be central to everything I am/do.
Last Sunday the preacher in my home church was reminding us that it's pastors who "kill" churches when we preach incomplete truth. I agree to that. But more to that is that Christian leaders "murder" the church by adopting worldly standards to measure spirituality. It results in superficial Christianity that rob us of genuine worship. I pray that God will come to visit us here in Malaysia & to purify the church. Is it right that I pray for judgment to begin from the House of God to remove the "impurities" within the House? It's time to return to the foundation of our faith, something we seem to have forgotten. It's time to re-kindle that passion of first love for our God that seem to have deteriorate. It's time to restore a holy fear of God that seem to have diminish in our walk with God. I pray the church in Malaysia will awake from her spiritual slumber & understand the signs of the time & urgency of the day.
SB
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Cyber Wonder
Technology works wonders. It created a borderless world where we can reach people anywhere with a few quick clicks on our computer mouse. I praise God that He brought a wonderful acquiantance into my life by chance, in cyber space. Check out this cool site at Faith-Space.com
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