It is a big challenge to be in Christian ministry. On one hand, we see the evil around us in the world and on the other hand is the Bible that teaches us everything good. The big challenge is reconciling these two through the person of Jesus Christ. Fallen human being as we are, even upon conversion into children of a holy God, we continue our imperfect nature along the process of sanctification to Christ-likeness. Many times we face the temptation to return to our old ways. To some, they believe that when the going gets tough the tough gets going but to others they simply succumb that if you can’t beat them, join them.
I realized that it’s been a full seven years I’m in the so-called full time Christian vocation. There’s been a lot of ups and downs, moments where I came so close to giving up on full-time ministry; moments also when I came so close to giving up being a Christian. Should the Christian pilgrimage be so turbulent a journey? I don’t think so. And as I’ve discovered, it’s only for “a chosen few.” Sounds so “privileged”? As I sought after God for an understanding to this “bumpy ride,” I received an affirmation regarding a spiritual gift accorded to me. I have often foolishly believed that when one is in ministry long enough, one should naturally have spiritual wisdom/discernment. Apparently, this is not so because it is a gift that God will give to those He divinely selects. The gift of spiritual discernment and subsequently of prophecy carries huge responsibilities. To me, there is a super-thin fine line between discernment and being judgmental, and I’ve been too cautious in practicing this spiritual gift. But I’m ready to take a further step of faith to exercise the gift. I realize that I can only go further when I actually take the first step. The so-called “bumpy ride” journey as I discovered is just part and parcel of that special “calling.” Simply because, as the prophet Amos said,
AM 3:7 Surely the Sovereign LORD does nothing
without revealing his plan
to his servants the prophets.
It’s “scary” to see through the eyes of God. Especially on matters that are not too right happening in His church. It’s no “fun” to feel the grief of God over matters close to His heart that His under-shepherds cause a mess. Yet, and surprisingly so to our limited human understanding, it is so much a privilege to be “chosen” by God to hear His heart-beat and share in His grief. In fact, it’s an honor to be “chosen” by God to “see” what others cannot, to “feel” what others can’t, to “grief” while others “rejoice,” and to stand in the gap for my fellow believers in the faith besides teaching & preaching what the Lord lays upon my heart to convict His church.
Thus far as the Lord has taken me, I’m still being molded in the hands of the Master who is carefully “re-constructing” me into the image of His Son, Jesus. A glance through the turbulent Christian faith journey has always revealed a sense of awe at the greatness of God because,
Ecc. 3:11a He has made everything beautiful in its time.
