Ministry Update: January 2009

A very blessed new year to all of you, partners in ministry. 2008 came and went so swiftly. I do not know how the year had been for you, but for me it was a (spiritually) turbulent season. I felt pushed so far to the edge of giving up in ministry and even active Christian living. It seemed tempting to just lead a normal nominal Christian life and indulge in worldliness just like everyone else. After all, what is the difference between secular work and the Christian vocation? I have discovered that there is none.

December was a lazy month. Festivities and holidays filled the air. It was difficult having to discipline myself to focus on preparing my entrance exam which I plan to sit on the 3^rd week of this month. Besides the festivities, were a special wedding between Nix and ST. Attending the auspicious occasion, I met friends from Christ Church. Some of whom I have not seen since the day I left the pastoral ministry in Christ Church. I had so much fun at the “helium-gas inhaling” session. And wow! All the “kids” I knew from youth ministry – they are all grown up! Some tried standing close to me just to prove they have grown! There’s one of them who still remembers well that the phrase “Good things come in small packages” is found in Psalm 151! (I taught them that) Ha…those were the days. When I came home, I had a strange feeling. Never thought I’ll ever experience it but it felt like I missed pastoral ministry. I missed the “closeness” of fellowship with church members and ministering in a wider (church) context. And especially so during festive occasions when pastors “usually” need to play an active role. After about 4 years break from this ministry, it is strange. Perhaps it has been the way the Lord had been dealing with me these past couple of years. And I can boldly claim that I am a more mature Christian today than I was at the beginning of last year.

Before new year’s eve I was invited to visit a friend, someone who used to be a member of the Young Adult’s Ministry in Christ Church. She tried to surprise me but her constant invites (through sms) to visit her at home raised some suspicion and I rightly guessed it that she wanted me to see her 3 month old baby. Though the visit was brief, it was a great time to catch up on each other and to encourage each other as we share stories of how God had been faithful to us.

I know I should be actively serving in a local church and I want to be able to actively serve in my home church. However, the nature of my ministry just cannot afford that. I cannot commit a regular attendance and I have to be available to go here and there. Although this is my “wish” – to be serving the local church (while ministering to the universal church), I realized that as I looked back at 2008, hey, I’ve been doing that. It just did not fit my perspective of serving the local church but I’ve been ministering through the teaching and preaching ministry. And that is my gift and I was using it to worship God through the local church. I saw myself ministering in churches of various denominations in the urban and rural contexts, in the English and BM congregations.

I also realized I have become more “relational.” I mean, I was a person who was so task-oriented and result-oriented that I often disregard the people in between while focusing on accomplishing a quality result as a worship to a great God. So, why on earth did I ever take the trouble to plan a trip, all the way to Medan, just to attend a friend’s wedding? I could have save the trouble and the money to buy myself a new laptop computer. I remember that when I was working in the corporate sector, one colleague said to me that it is very “profitable” to invite SB Tan to weddings and dinners because she will just give an ang pao and never showed up. She was right. I never liked mingling with people and be in a crowd. I always felt I am able to do anything on my own and I do not need anyone at all. So, why bother to “waste” time in chatting with people when there could be a thousand other things to be done, when I could research all that I needed to know from books and magazines. I would not even bother to cross the bridge to attend a dinner but today I am a person who is taking the initiative to travel to another country solely for the purpose of attending a friend’s wedding. What a change the Lord had done in me! I have even taken the initiative to sms greetings to almost everyone in my phone book. I email little messages of encouragement to friends and partners in ministry in other parts of the world. And I can even just take time off to just sit and chat with friends for no apparent purpose. Even offering to pay the bill for lunch without thinking about exceeding my monthly budget, or treating a whole class to a bbq. Or, loaning money to a friend who needed an advance for his home rental deposit. Also, giving little gifts along the way. This is really not me and I am not sure what I have become. But that is not important. Because all I want is to be molded in the hands of my skillful Master and simply surrender to Him and allowing Him to mold a character in me that is worthy for the task He ordained for me.

I’m traveling to Medan tomorrow by Firefly and joining Lita and friends in a 5-hour drive to Sidikalang to attend a wedding. I was told Sidikalang is a small town and it’s pretty cold there. We will spend the weekend there before the wedding on Monday, conducted in traditional Batak customs. We travel back to Medan on Tuesday and I will travel back to Penang on Wednesday. I only have 2 days in the week before packing again to Tawau, Sabah for a week long of classes teaching Cultural Anthropology in BM. Well, Anthropology is a special subject. I mean, I am a major in Anthropology and Sociology in my first degree. But I failed to fully comprehend what Anthropology really is until a couple of years back! Returning from Sabah, I have my only full week at work and in Penang, 3^rd week of the month, which is when I hope to be ready enough to sit for my entrance exam (please, please pray for me – it will be the last exam I will be sitting for (hopefully) in my formal educational life. The PhD program is fully research-based and the final grading is an oral defense). I think I have a preaching engagement the weekend before CNY which will come at the last week of January and I’ll be traveling to PJ on the second day of CNY. Hopefully I get to meet some old friends around KL/PJ.

In case I can’t find the opportunity to write you again, a very Kong Xi Fa Cai to everyone and once again my signature log off line: Thank you for your partnership in ministry.

^{PHP 1:3} I thank my God every time I remember you. ⁴ In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy ⁵ because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, ⁶ being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.