Ministry Update 2: March 2009

I am tired, very tired. I often question if my sacrifice and effort is worth it to pursue an ideal that half the Christian population cannot comply. I question how we can compromise on the quality and services to our own fellow believers, which ultimately is our worship to our God. I ask why we resort to bending rules and regulations, simply to comply with our own whims and fancies. In the first place, why have rules if it’s not meant to be followed? Why do we always use “case by case basis” as an excuse to bend rules? I mean, I understand that we cannot be too rigid or too legalistic. I understand the need to be flexible, flexible, and flexible. But I do not understand why we often try to find an excuse to compromise our faith and beliefs. I find it easier to accept opposition from non-Christians than from Christians, especially Christian “leaders.” I sound pretty much like a rebel and so anti-establishment. But no one will rebel if there is no reason to rebel. Just the same as there will be no smoke if there is no fire. People say it’s unhealthy to compare. But if there is fairness, no one will bother to compare.

As members of the fallen human race, I know all of us have our own faults and shortcomings. But if we confess to be Christians, then why can’t we strive to exhibit Christian values in our lifestyle? If we are no different than our friend or colleague who is not a Christian, that will mean Christ died for nothing and the Bible is but a fairy tale book.

Jesus teaches that,

^{MT 7:1} "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ² For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

But he also teaches that,

^MT7:16 By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? ¹⁷ Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. ¹⁸ A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. ¹⁹ Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. ²⁰ Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

I think I need a break. A break from the complexities and politics of the urban church (or Christian organization). I have had enough of so called Christian ministers clamoring for titles and positions, not to mention wanting to be served and to be popular. All these to the extent of compromising their given task, which is, as I mentioned earlier, is our form of worship to our God. I really look forward to entering the jungle again, back to the basic necessities and back to the simplicity of the Christian faith.

I just asked the Lord. I long to serve You. Just and simply serve You, which is my heart’s desire. To be solely and wholly devoted to You. Simply to serve as Your servant and to fulfill my calling as a humble servant. But I am feeling very frustrated and very bound up. There are all these complexities here and there and everywhere around me. Complexities created by men as means to boost their own ego and in its process profane the sanctity of the Christian ministry. And I long to know whether the Lord is grieved, what can be done to confront this issue? But I know God is merciful and loving. I’m yet to come near to be like Him. The day will truly and surely come when each of us will be judged. And I long to receive a word of praise from my God, not a rebuke. So, despite the struggle, I have resolved to keep the good fight of faith. Because my God is a great God.

Like how I had started, I am recalling my feeling of tiredness. I am tired, very tired to be striving in what appears to be a lone struggle. If the opposition is outside the church walls, this is understandable. But how do you reconcile when the “opposition” is within the church walls? When men and women who have served the church (or Christian organization) for so long and we should be regarding them as our mentors and teachers, yet it is them that contradict Biblical values?

Ministry Update: March 2009

Urbanization…such a big word. A phenomenon that is infecting the whole world. A phenomenon that attracts, entices, and persuades. Rural folks flock into the cities for various reasons. People like the big cities for its modernity, sophistication, and amenities. But urbanization carries with it the evils of materialism and complexities of relations. People think we are “advance” if we are modern, indulging in all the complexities that kill our innocence.

Wah…this is really technical. I wonder why I started this piece in such a manner. Just to prove my point, actually. We often get carried away in wanting to impress the person next to us, an attribute of the fallen nature. And sadly, we unconsciously (or maybe consciously) import such mindset into the Christian circle. Recently, I attended a pastor installation service. The candidate is a good friend that I’ve known for several years. Although I do not know him very well, but well enough to know that this is a man after God’s heart. His “track record” of ministry proves it. I’m glad and I rejoice together with the church for this brother.

It was at the dinner after the service that I picked up a pretty disturbing viewpoint from among certain church leaders. Okay, I’m used to being observant, having being trained as a sociologist who engages in participation observation. My ears and my eyes are trained to pick up “social patterns” and it’s really like a second nature to me. I observed and I am saddened as I hear how church leaders talk about the so-called full time Christian vocation. We encourage people to enter into full-time work and yet, we seem to categorize each commitment according to their prior secular involvement. You see, the Christian leader that was going on and on about this issue was expressing how he admires people who leave their “professional occupation” to enter into “full-time” ministry. Is it only admirable for people who have “social standing” to enter “full-time” ministry? I have nothing against anyone entering the full-time Christian vocation, regardless of their background. But it seems that the Christian population sympathizes or looks down on the full-time work. It is a big sacrifice to enter into full-time ministry for those who have been earning big bucks in the secular sector. But it doesn’t matter for those who have been earning peanuts. After all, there’s no difference in the salary they command. I mean, if Christians themselves think that the full-time Christian vocation is meant for those “misfits of society,” how do we expect the non-Christians to think any better of us? It looks like even Christians themselves consider the full-time vocation as an avenue “to save” the unwanted of the secular sector. Hey, when considering my “salary” it has always been my “secular” degree that makes the deciding figure. Even Christians themselves are not recognizing their own formal training. Okay, okay…it’s not the papers that matter. That I acknowledge…it is the journey along the way that makes the difference. Granted! But hey, if the Christian community herself thinks lowly of her dedicated members and efforts, how on earth are we ever to be “salt and light” in making a difference to society around us? We are no different than the person outside the church. In other words, we only fantasize about being a salty salt when we actually have lost the saltiness.

Perhaps we lack credible leaders, spiritually discerning leaders. We often assume that a person in a “high position” in a secular job is a good candidate to lead church affairs, without even considering the spiritual health of that individual. Can we actually accept a church leader who is a young Christian, spending umpteen years steep in another faith but just converted, say less than 5 years?...and because this person was a “professional” it is impressive enough to grant a leadership position? Wow! Personally, no. But I know it is an obvious, resounding “yes” by some quarters. I stick to my belief that decisions not carefully made today may not cause harm today itself but it will certainly cause damage tomorrow or the day after. And sometimes, the damage may be just too severe to undo, to the individual, the person being ministered, and to the Christian community as a whole.

Wah…pretty deep eh? My point is, we need to restore the “dignity” of the Church. There was a time in history when church leaders are respected individuals of society, that the pastor is the most learned person in the village. And all that was lost in the process of secularization, when money and prestige became the measurement of one’s honor. The advent of urbanization further emphasizes this factor and we slip further down the spiral of materialism. And with that deteriorated church-related vocation in the eyes of community, both Christian and non-Christian.

Honestly, I’m not sure if it’s worth the effort to keep believing in an “ideal Christian community” where everyone’s focus is in allowing God to mold them, where everyone strive to be spirit-controlled, where everyone submits to each other and serves each other just the way the Bible prescribes it.

I also had a new experience recently. Based in the seminary, ministering to the academic audience has become a norm, but I had the privilege to minister to a professional crowd. I don’t know how I fared but I hope to learn along the way together with the rest. In fact, it was sort of a revision for me to dig up lessons and notes I left untouched upon leaving the pastoral ministry. And I believe that there is relevant, up-to-date ministry approach that I can learn from this group of BM pastors in FGAC.

The year has quickly entered into its third month. Affairs of the world and our nation continued to impact us. We have a national partner from BA (Lita’s team-mate) who married an American missionary and the couple is now back in the States. I was chatting with him online in Facebook today. He is looking for a job and his wife is pregnant. I don’t know how to help him, except to pray. Being Indonesian in the States will not offer a bright prospect under current circumstances. And his wife is pregnant…

I was practically glued to the PC the day the Perak state assembly created history. I confessed that I could not concentrate on work at all the whole morning as I closely followed live reporting. Like many others, I could not hold back the tears as the events unfold. Malaysia, o Malaysia…my country, my home. Not perfect but there is HOPE. Let us persevere to pray for a complete breakthrough in our land.

I hope the Christian community will seize the opportunity of the day to aggressively make a difference. The change must start from within the church if we are ever to be the change agent for our nation. The change must begin from each individual and I pray the change will begin from me. So help me God.

The year ahead is full of activities for me as I took note recently. There are teaching and preaching appointments in every month, right till the end in December. Looks like an exciting year ahead. Please pray for me as we partner in ministry to make a difference in this generation in this nation.