It's just one more week before Convocation. Everyone in campus is anxious, especially graduating students. Funny that I still feel anxious despite it being my fourth convocation. I suppose it's because it's another mile-stone. The excitement is in being the first ThM (Missiology) graduating from MBTS. It's making a mark in history, even in a small, insignificant way. But I am careful not to allow this to get into my head. After all, it was just last Saturday when I preached at a Saturday evening service in a local church when I was exhorting the church to be God-minded. By that I meant to remind them how worldly values always try to tempt us into adopting its values. Achievements of sorts in the form of academic/professional gain, career advancements, latest and fanciful "toys," etc.
I believe this is a huge challenge for us, Christians. Being in the world that is constantly bombarding us with its own set of values. And on the other hand, wanting to be Christ-like we have to disregard worldliness and adopt a system of values that contradicts worldliness. When society honors a person with impressive job titles or fantastic academic/professional achievements, the church often got carried away and conform to honor such "achievements." Somehow, as I observe, worldly values have entered the church. In some circumstances, it's way too much & it choked out Godly values. I'm constantly praying that the Lord keep reminding me to walk in His will - at ALL times, even & especially at times when I am at a cross-road of choice between worldly expectation and heavenly expectation. While I'm not accountable for the person next to me, I definitely am accountable for my own actions.
I still remember how embarassed I was at one time last year. It was a casual leaders retreat for the Hokkien ministry (no, I did not share in Hokkien). After the casual preaching of the Word, the pastor came up to me and asked what is it that the Seminary is teaching. He personally witness how a graduate telling his church members that it is okay to engage in social drinking (of alcoholic beverages). I was shocked & speechless. But as I recall that moment, I did some exploration into this issue of drinking. It is clear that the Bible wants us, Christians & leaders in particular to be above reproach. But when we engage in social, public drinking, we lost that credibility. Occasional drinking is acceptable in this culture. I don't know why. After all, drinking (alcoholic beverages) is never a culture here until we became "westernized." It's a real huge challenge for us Christians and leaders especially to remain above reproach, yet, I know this is not impossible because we serve a great God, a God of the impossible. The problem is with us individuals. After being a Christian for awhile, we thought we are smart enough. Just because we are church leaders, we often think we are more spiritual. That's what we think we are, often not what God thinks of us. The Malay idiom rings true to say that the more you are, the humbler you'll be. Because it is "the empty vessels that make the most noise."
I was grading a student's paper yesterday when I read her making a reference to personality types. The Myers-Briggs personality test reveals that I'm ENTJ, the La-Haye temperament test reveals me as Choleric-Melancholy. There are times I am caught in a huge frustration but as I discover myself, I've learnt to allow God mellow me down. But I'm not giving up on my big dreams. If there's one way I want to describe myself, it's being a dreamer. I dream big and I encourage dreaming because one can achieve only as much as he/she dares to dream. Because I serve a big God, I dare to dream big. After all, it takes the same effort! And I'm still reminded of the prophecies I received - years apart from different servants of God who do not know each other - the promise of God for big things and the period of time I have to be in a "cocoon." I'm believing God for big things, I'm only impatient with my "cocoon" season. There's a whole world to reach for God and the place God has for me is not confined. It is big and it is huge - I'm too eager to engage in it. "Expect great things from God, attempt great things for God." This is what William Carey said, a phrase that is still inspiring thousands upon thousands today...
I am extremely thankful for how God has been steering my life and ministry. Yet I know there's still so much to learn. I'm having a lot of fun and it's a tremendous joy to relate/network with missions/missionaries all over the world to see the "big picture." In fact, this is really me - the big picture person who dislike details.
And so, it's only next week before I receive another degree. It's another evidence of the grace of God and His goodness in taking me through these various phases in life. And the honor is the Lord's.
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