And He made all things beautiful in its own time…

It was just a bookmark. But it made me upset…why should it? It bears an encouraging passage from Paul’s letter to Timothy, 2 Tim 2 v 15

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.

The bookmark was addressed to a teacher, followed by the verse. But I’m no teacher. Yet, it’s actually encouraging me to be a teacher…But what’s wrong with being a teacher? Perhaps it was what I saw it represented. When I was in the university, the only financial aid that I was short listed for was the Ministry of Education scholarship. I hated being a teacher for the fact that teaching appeared to be a monotonous profession, where you teach the same thing over and over again, year after year after year. Besides, it’s binding…tied to the Ministry of Education and subjected to be posted anywhere in Malaysia. Gosh, how can I ever survive if I were to be posted to some rural towns? There was no other option and I had to barely survive varsity years through the FASIS, father and sister, scholarship. Since then, I seemed to be against anything that may suggest teaching because I saw it as restricting my options and choices.

The bookmark was a gift from Chooi Fuan. I was not exactly thrilled, but she told me that I would be a teacher of God’s Word, who should correctly handle the word of truth. But the long journey had not yet begun for me to be molded as a teacher. It only came at the 1997 economy slowdown and I was unemployed for about 4 months, finally landing myself into a teaching job in a Chinese private high school. God really has a great sense of humor in bringing me there. I hated teaching and I equally dislike the Chinese educated population. Can you blame me? I was treated like an outcast in the Chinese community in college simply because I do not speak mandarin…and I can still remember how I argued and debated with a senior who told me proudly that, the essence of being Chinese is in knowing the mandarin language. What rubbish…and this guy is now the exco of Perak’s illegitimate BN government.

My short stink at teaching, about two year’s worth, brought deep impact. Not only did it help me to tolerate and befriend the Chinese educated population, it also showed me how deep an impact it could bring to the lives of the students I taught. It has been more than 10 years since my teaching years but I am still in touch with some of those students. That was exactly before my entry into the so called full time Christian vocation. The pastoral experience lasted about five years. I know I do not have the pastoral gift to be an effective pastor but I also know I must be a pastor to be effective in teaching pastors. Hence, the pastoral years. Sometimes, you just cannot fully comprehend a certain thing until you have actually and personally experience it. And as I looked back, truly I can declare as the preacher said, He made all things beautiful in its own time.

The passion for teaching God’s word surfaced slowly and strongly. But today I can honestly say, it is a passion that keeps me going in ministry. I may not be the best but I know by God’s grace I am good. And I want to keep improving, knowing that my God deserves only the best and only the best do I want to offer to Him. So, dear partners in ministry, please hold me accountable to this…remind me of this pledge that I must always offer the best to my God. In fact, I will consider it a sin if I offer anything less than the very best to God. After all, He gave me His very best in Jesus Christ. The reason I am putting myself through grueling studies is not for anything else but to seize the opportunity to better myself so that I can always be striving to be better than the best of what I can offer to my God. After all, we can only offer out of what we have.

The rest of February followed by March are pretty slow but it allows me time to prepare the many lessons coming in April, May, June, August, and October. Not to mention the monthly sessions in FGAC and the STCM activities. I look forward to having more time in teaching…after all, it is not only teaching but learning that takes place in class. Finally, I need to comment that it’s difficult having to return to student life and I am slow in getting back to discipline myself to read and to study. Somehow, asking someone to do assignments seem more attractive and fun than having to do assignments myself…

16Feb09