FACEBOOK, it looks like I am pretty addicted to this social networking website. It is exciting to rekindle old friendships. For a start, I am not a person who keeps in touch through writing snail mails. I mean, gosh…that is like, so uncool. And the wait for replies, my…my hair grow white la. But wahlah…this is the electronic age. Once we have a person’s email address or hand phone number, we can send a message within seconds. Now this, me likey. Why…it’s because I am a super impatient person. Everything must move at the speed of light. And the LORD is teaching me difficult lessons on how I need to grow patience; after all, it is a fruit of the Spirit.
After more than twenty years, I met up with two former classmates. I must admit that I was a bit envious of them who have been in touch with old friends all these while. And they can keep track of who married who, what they are doing now, and which part of the world they are residing now. As they mentioned names, I can only stare at them blankly. I cannot recall more than half of them. Out of the familiar names, another half of them I have no mental picture of how they look like at all. It was great fun, taking that trip down memory lane but I came home pretty upset with myself. How come I cannot remember my classmates? How come my friends can recall how I use to kacau them but I have no recollection of that at all? I mean, this friend can even recall where I sat in class in primary school, my goodness…But the most saddening part for me is not remembering the list of names of my classmates. How pathetic I am…So, I tried to analyze myself. Why, and I kept asking myself, why can’t I remember my classmates? How come I am not in touch with anyone at all?
Well, I have my answer. I never looked back. Or rather, I failed to look back. I just kept going forward and continue moving forward without taking any effort to look back. At every stage, I met friends and when I move on, I made new friends, forgetting the old. That was me. Molded and conditioned by the world to be independent, the mark of a modern, urban individual – the self-made person. Pathetic, isn’t it? But praise God, I have a second chance through FACEBOOK to nourish my garden of friendships that had gone unattended for twenty over years. And why the Lord is offering me this opportunity? Because ministry is about people and people means relationship.
And I return to my favorite theory again…the significant 4-0 number. Hey, it is significant isn’t it? I mean it is the number of years the Israelites wandered in the wilderness. So, okay I have completed my 40 years of wandering in my spiritual wilderness. I am stepping into the Promised Land, tasting the goodness from the flow of milk and honey. Er hmm…not too good diet for middle age folks like me. Oops…well, age is relative, age is only numbers. But my body is the Temple of the Holy Spirit. The milk should be low fat and the honey not too sweet.
Okay, okay…I am just taking a break from the day long attempt at preparing my research proposal. It is funny that when you take a break from active study, it is so slow to build back the momentum.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Ministry Update 3: July 2009
NU 23:19 God is not a man, that he should lie,
nor a son of man, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act?
Does he promise and not fulfill?
So here’s another update from me to share with all of you the important decision I have made. It has not been easy and I thank many of you who wrote encouraging emails to help me through the hard times. I am sure no one in his or her right Christian mind will turn away from an exciting move of God that is approaching and you will surely act on it and take the risks that come along with it. That is what has landed me in these two months of frustration, depression, and misery. Sounds so miserably, right? It was depressing all right and I think I sort of spread the misery through my updates to some of you. Well, I’m just sharing from the heart and we all know that the Christian life is an upstream struggling. Besides, God never promised us blue skies and everything nice.
I thank God for FACEBOOK. Yes, it’s great because I re-discovered lost friendships. Some of whom I have not met for more than twenty years. And recently I met two of them. It is funny that while we are in Penang all these while, we never bump into each other. Penang is really NOT THAT SMALL, after all. So I had dinner with two old friends at US Pizza and none could believe I am in ministry. Who would? God often pick the most unlikely candidate. And as I shared of what I am doing, one of them exclaimed that it surely has to be God’s calling for me to be doing what I am doing in the interior. This is actually a second confirmation and it came from an unbeliever. OK, so she is not quite an unbeliever but she’s a catholic who can hardly pray. How I arrived at my decision was at a point where I was too angry to continue on in an indecisive situation and I sort of lost my temper at God in prayer. Then He brought a college kid to knock some sense into me. Four degrees, three of them seminary masters and God brought an eager college kid to speak to me. I am humbled. Thanks brother, I know you are reading this right now. It is that phrase you mentioned that sometimes we need to shut one opportunity to ensure there is only one way. Well, we always want a plan B to fall back on just in case plan A doesn’t work out well. But that is not how it works in ministry. And the next morning as I was reading Numbers, the verses above literally jumped out at me. So, here I stand, fearfully venturing into a huge uncertainty with only God as my security. But that is enough.
The past two months were a real struggle. When you know you just must seize the opportunity to move along with God in an exciting work He is doing in this nation, He can stir things up in us that can be so unexpected. I do not enjoy sharing negatively and I know you do not enjoy reading them. But the truth is, we are fallen beings with all our ways prone to evil. I am still upset and disappointed at the parties that attempted to hinder the growth of the BM work and even those who are blind to see the approaching move of God. In fact, I feel sorry for them. One thing I do know is that nothing escapes the eyes of our watchful God. He will judge and reward accordingly. My plans now are to focus fully and begin sourcing for funds to grow the BM work. If the school cannot quite accept me and the BM work into its structure, I know I have a big God who cares enough for His church in Malaysia who needs to grow. The duty to care for the Malaysian church rests upon the shoulders of Malaysian Christians. And through the years, the Lord has prepared me for such a time as now to be strategically in a ministry that is already gaining momentum to be the next big wave to hit the Malaysian church. If you share this excitement in your heart, I invite you to join me in this ministry. I invite you to come alongside me to minister to the indigenous community in Malaysia. As Christians, we should lift a weaker brother as we run the race of life. And truly the Lord has blessed us with so much and shouldn’t we extend a helping hand so that our brother or sister in the interior can come beside us?
Please remember me in your prayers. I have not paid enough attention to my studies recently due to this dilemma. I am working on my research proposal and discussion questions. My motivation is the indigenous community. I know I can only lead them to where I am, therefore, this motivates me to push myself further. Our indigenous siblings deserve as much as we do, a good education and opportunity. I have availed myself to the Lord to make me His vessel to raise their livelihood, spiritually and materially. I know I may not be able to convince you to do the same but I hope you will at least partner me in this effort.
Thank you for your partnership in ministry.
nor a son of man, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act?
Does he promise and not fulfill?
So here’s another update from me to share with all of you the important decision I have made. It has not been easy and I thank many of you who wrote encouraging emails to help me through the hard times. I am sure no one in his or her right Christian mind will turn away from an exciting move of God that is approaching and you will surely act on it and take the risks that come along with it. That is what has landed me in these two months of frustration, depression, and misery. Sounds so miserably, right? It was depressing all right and I think I sort of spread the misery through my updates to some of you. Well, I’m just sharing from the heart and we all know that the Christian life is an upstream struggling. Besides, God never promised us blue skies and everything nice.
I thank God for FACEBOOK. Yes, it’s great because I re-discovered lost friendships. Some of whom I have not met for more than twenty years. And recently I met two of them. It is funny that while we are in Penang all these while, we never bump into each other. Penang is really NOT THAT SMALL, after all. So I had dinner with two old friends at US Pizza and none could believe I am in ministry. Who would? God often pick the most unlikely candidate. And as I shared of what I am doing, one of them exclaimed that it surely has to be God’s calling for me to be doing what I am doing in the interior. This is actually a second confirmation and it came from an unbeliever. OK, so she is not quite an unbeliever but she’s a catholic who can hardly pray. How I arrived at my decision was at a point where I was too angry to continue on in an indecisive situation and I sort of lost my temper at God in prayer. Then He brought a college kid to knock some sense into me. Four degrees, three of them seminary masters and God brought an eager college kid to speak to me. I am humbled. Thanks brother, I know you are reading this right now. It is that phrase you mentioned that sometimes we need to shut one opportunity to ensure there is only one way. Well, we always want a plan B to fall back on just in case plan A doesn’t work out well. But that is not how it works in ministry. And the next morning as I was reading Numbers, the verses above literally jumped out at me. So, here I stand, fearfully venturing into a huge uncertainty with only God as my security. But that is enough.
The past two months were a real struggle. When you know you just must seize the opportunity to move along with God in an exciting work He is doing in this nation, He can stir things up in us that can be so unexpected. I do not enjoy sharing negatively and I know you do not enjoy reading them. But the truth is, we are fallen beings with all our ways prone to evil. I am still upset and disappointed at the parties that attempted to hinder the growth of the BM work and even those who are blind to see the approaching move of God. In fact, I feel sorry for them. One thing I do know is that nothing escapes the eyes of our watchful God. He will judge and reward accordingly. My plans now are to focus fully and begin sourcing for funds to grow the BM work. If the school cannot quite accept me and the BM work into its structure, I know I have a big God who cares enough for His church in Malaysia who needs to grow. The duty to care for the Malaysian church rests upon the shoulders of Malaysian Christians. And through the years, the Lord has prepared me for such a time as now to be strategically in a ministry that is already gaining momentum to be the next big wave to hit the Malaysian church. If you share this excitement in your heart, I invite you to join me in this ministry. I invite you to come alongside me to minister to the indigenous community in Malaysia. As Christians, we should lift a weaker brother as we run the race of life. And truly the Lord has blessed us with so much and shouldn’t we extend a helping hand so that our brother or sister in the interior can come beside us?
Please remember me in your prayers. I have not paid enough attention to my studies recently due to this dilemma. I am working on my research proposal and discussion questions. My motivation is the indigenous community. I know I can only lead them to where I am, therefore, this motivates me to push myself further. Our indigenous siblings deserve as much as we do, a good education and opportunity. I have availed myself to the Lord to make me His vessel to raise their livelihood, spiritually and materially. I know I may not be able to convince you to do the same but I hope you will at least partner me in this effort.
Thank you for your partnership in ministry.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Ministry Update 2: July 2009
I sound so fickle-minded. One minute this, one minute that. But the truth is, I am still undecided. Yes, I certainly want to remain in the BM ministry. This is a ministry that is gaining momentum right now in Peninsular Malaysia. I was in Johor and the Anglican church is looking for additional workers, not one but two. I was in Malacca and seven pastors came to the meeting wanting to know more about how they can study further to improve their ministry. After the meeting, they even asked me to send an email about the BM program so they can pass it to their friends who were not present. Last week, I received a call from Taiping, needing assistance in their BM ministry. Yes, I certainly want to continue in this ministry, but…there’s always the but. I really do not know how things in campus can be ironed out. Even the top management agreed that politics come into play and unfairness is present. So, I am asking myself…if I want to continue in the BM ministry, which platform shall I continue to serve? MBTS? But can I accept the bluntly acknowledged politicking in a Christian organization? I will constantly feel frustrated. I just prayed…truly the BM work is growing rapidly but do I have the privilege to continue in this work? Or maybe the Lord is taking me to another area of missions? The line is simply full time or part time involvement. Let’s face it, in any effort, we always need a full time person to fully develop the work. But if the effort is deemed as unimportant, there will not be a need for full time involvement. It all depends on the ministry players. And I know I can still be involved in missions, whether home or foreign, whether market place or otherwise. I sound like I am justifying a decision. But am I wrong? Wouldn’t it hurt more when unchristianness comes from Christians themselves? I have even concluded that there is no difference between the secular sector and the so-called Christian vocation. Both contain fallen human beings, stained with sin. So, what have I decided? Your guess is as good as mine…
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Ministry Update: July 2009
Praise God from whom all blessings flow,
Praise Him all creatures here below,
Praise Him above ye heavenly host,
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. AMEN.
The Doxology is sung by traditional churches towards the end of the worship service and is a good reminder to us all that indeed it is from God that all blessings flow. I am back from the mission trip to Johore and Malacca. When I arrived in JB, it started to rain. Apparently, it was hot and dry for a long while and I brought the rain. Actually, I did not realize that Penang rained too but it stopped when I returned to Penang .
I dropped by Singapore briefly to meet my thesis supervisor and returned to JB not feeling well. I was pretty afraid I might have caught the H1N1 virus while in Singapore . But praise God, the good Lord restored my health. The team had a lot of fun in Johor Bahru and in Kluang. It was the first time the Anglican churches there received a mission team. We ministered to the Sabah and Sarawak indigenous people there. Some were there because they are working in the army while the rest were there because Singapore offers better employment options. I preached at St Christopher’s Church on the first Sunday and at Kulai Anglican Mission Center the second Sunday. The team was in Johor Bahru till Monday when we traveled to Kluang and spent 2 days there. We slept everywhere in the church building and I took the “privileged” spot of sleeping before the altar (of sacrifice). We proceeded to Malacca on Wednesday morning. There was some miscommunication with our contact there and the hiccup messed up the trip quite a bit. However, we were still able to find time to visit the historic Christ Church , St. Paul ’s Hill, A Farmosa, although I did not have the opportunity to savor the famed satay celup! I returned to JB on Saturday afternoon while the team stayed on till Sunday. I had to leave the team early because Firefly changed its flight schedule 3 hours earlier. Not wanting to miss a worship service, I traveled back to JB and preached at the daughter church of St. Chris in Kulai. The rest of team were split into two back in Malacca, with one team ministering in Straits Baptist Church and the other at the SIB church.
I came back to the office on Monday morning to find a long list of emails that need to be attended to. And guess what? I was so surprised, happy, blessed to read of one email from a church in Ipoh asking me for my full name and mailing address because they want to bless me with RM3000 to pay partially for my school fees or to get a new laptop. WOW! It was so unexpected. It was a casual discussion with some students back in Ipoh after class when we were discussing how pathetic pastors are paid. I never expect anyone to pursue any further on that discussion. But apparently some students did and I am blessed. I planned to pay partially for my school fees, which is still pending unpaid since my official admittance into the PhD program in January. And I think I can also spare some to get a netbook.
Thus, the opening doxology…Praise God, from whom ALL blessings flow. I was standing at a cross road, undecided between two directions. At one hand is an offer from an NGO offering me a senior position and a good pay. On the other hand is my present ministry, where I am being paid peanuts and almost in a “cold storage” but impacting a growing work. But the first few days in JB had helped me decide. It will be extremely foolish of me to leave a growing ministry where I am strategically placed to churn workers and equip workers for effective ministry in the BM work. I realized that I will be extremely selfish if I opt for the NGO offer. Sure it pays more and I will get the “glamour” of my own office and proper recognition as I see myself as the second in command in its organization chart. But the problem with this picture is simply that it is not home missions and I am too in love with the indigenous people and too passionate in this ministry. So, I have decided to reject an offer that the former me would have eagerly grab. The present me would rather pursue an adventurous and exciting journey with a loving, caring God.
I was going through a difficult time. Torn between the person I was and the person I am. In fact, I was practical forced to confront what I really want in life. Am I still the ambitious, career-minded person or have I truly surrendered all to God as I pledged when I entered the so-called full-time Christian vocation? It was a depressing time having come face-to-face with who I really am today. I asked myself searching questions and it was indeed a tough decision. Buckets of tears were shed…no, I am just exaggerating. But to realize that the Lord had prepared me to be strategically placed in the BM work that is fast growing in such a time as now, it’s simply too awesome. And I know I can never forgive myself if I took an option that is self-centered and selfish.
Please pray for me. Please pray that every hindrance to the progress of the BM work will be removed and for fruitful opportunities to bring an impact and to make a difference to the vast and fast expanding BM work in this nation. Also, do remember me in prayer for the ministry appointments such as…TARC CF on 21 July, preaching at BJAC on 25 July, weekend mission trip to OA villages in Simpang Pulai on 1-2 Aug, class with the FGAC BM pastors on 5 Aug, class in MBTS 10-14 Aug on prophetic ministry in contemporary church, another visit to OA villages 22-23 Aug. There will be three preaching engagements in September, a one-week class in October, one preaching engagement in November and a speaking engagement for a youth camp in December with a pending mission trip planned for early December.
Once again, I thank you for your partnership in ministry.
Praise Him all creatures here below,
Praise Him above ye heavenly host,
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. AMEN.
The Doxology is sung by traditional churches towards the end of the worship service and is a good reminder to us all that indeed it is from God that all blessings flow. I am back from the mission trip to Johore and Malacca. When I arrived in JB, it started to rain. Apparently, it was hot and dry for a long while and I brought the rain. Actually, I did not realize that Penang rained too but it stopped when I returned to Penang .
I dropped by Singapore briefly to meet my thesis supervisor and returned to JB not feeling well. I was pretty afraid I might have caught the H1N1 virus while in Singapore . But praise God, the good Lord restored my health. The team had a lot of fun in Johor Bahru and in Kluang. It was the first time the Anglican churches there received a mission team. We ministered to the Sabah and Sarawak indigenous people there. Some were there because they are working in the army while the rest were there because Singapore offers better employment options. I preached at St Christopher’s Church on the first Sunday and at Kulai Anglican Mission Center the second Sunday. The team was in Johor Bahru till Monday when we traveled to Kluang and spent 2 days there. We slept everywhere in the church building and I took the “privileged” spot of sleeping before the altar (of sacrifice). We proceeded to Malacca on Wednesday morning. There was some miscommunication with our contact there and the hiccup messed up the trip quite a bit. However, we were still able to find time to visit the historic Christ Church , St. Paul ’s Hill, A Farmosa, although I did not have the opportunity to savor the famed satay celup! I returned to JB on Saturday afternoon while the team stayed on till Sunday. I had to leave the team early because Firefly changed its flight schedule 3 hours earlier. Not wanting to miss a worship service, I traveled back to JB and preached at the daughter church of St. Chris in Kulai. The rest of team were split into two back in Malacca, with one team ministering in Straits Baptist Church and the other at the SIB church.
I came back to the office on Monday morning to find a long list of emails that need to be attended to. And guess what? I was so surprised, happy, blessed to read of one email from a church in Ipoh asking me for my full name and mailing address because they want to bless me with RM3000 to pay partially for my school fees or to get a new laptop. WOW! It was so unexpected. It was a casual discussion with some students back in Ipoh after class when we were discussing how pathetic pastors are paid. I never expect anyone to pursue any further on that discussion. But apparently some students did and I am blessed. I planned to pay partially for my school fees, which is still pending unpaid since my official admittance into the PhD program in January. And I think I can also spare some to get a netbook.
Thus, the opening doxology…Praise God, from whom ALL blessings flow. I was standing at a cross road, undecided between two directions. At one hand is an offer from an NGO offering me a senior position and a good pay. On the other hand is my present ministry, where I am being paid peanuts and almost in a “cold storage” but impacting a growing work. But the first few days in JB had helped me decide. It will be extremely foolish of me to leave a growing ministry where I am strategically placed to churn workers and equip workers for effective ministry in the BM work. I realized that I will be extremely selfish if I opt for the NGO offer. Sure it pays more and I will get the “glamour” of my own office and proper recognition as I see myself as the second in command in its organization chart. But the problem with this picture is simply that it is not home missions and I am too in love with the indigenous people and too passionate in this ministry. So, I have decided to reject an offer that the former me would have eagerly grab. The present me would rather pursue an adventurous and exciting journey with a loving, caring God.
I was going through a difficult time. Torn between the person I was and the person I am. In fact, I was practical forced to confront what I really want in life. Am I still the ambitious, career-minded person or have I truly surrendered all to God as I pledged when I entered the so-called full-time Christian vocation? It was a depressing time having come face-to-face with who I really am today. I asked myself searching questions and it was indeed a tough decision. Buckets of tears were shed…no, I am just exaggerating. But to realize that the Lord had prepared me to be strategically placed in the BM work that is fast growing in such a time as now, it’s simply too awesome. And I know I can never forgive myself if I took an option that is self-centered and selfish.
Please pray for me. Please pray that every hindrance to the progress of the BM work will be removed and for fruitful opportunities to bring an impact and to make a difference to the vast and fast expanding BM work in this nation. Also, do remember me in prayer for the ministry appointments such as…TARC CF on 21 July, preaching at BJAC on 25 July, weekend mission trip to OA villages in Simpang Pulai on 1-2 Aug, class with the FGAC BM pastors on 5 Aug, class in MBTS 10-14 Aug on prophetic ministry in contemporary church, another visit to OA villages 22-23 Aug. There will be three preaching engagements in September, a one-week class in October, one preaching engagement in November and a speaking engagement for a youth camp in December with a pending mission trip planned for early December.
Once again, I thank you for your partnership in ministry.
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