Here comes Mickey Mouse…

Chinese New Year is fast approaching & I’m still able to claim my right to receive “ang-pow.” Somehow, that excitement is fast fading as I grow older. I stopped counting my age after my 33^rd birthday assuming that the following years are bonuses for me because my Lord died at 33 years of age when He hung from a cross in Calvary. Well, I’m approaching 40 and as it has been said, “Life begins at 40.” I’m waiting to see if it really does.

The Intercessory Prayer meeting in campus is progressing well thus far. We have over 10 participants so far with a few regular & some intermittent participants. But it’s good to know that God brought intercessors into campus with a burden to see a spiritual revival happening here. It’s about time we awake from spiritual slumber! I can’t wait as I anticipate the opportunity to ride upon the wings of God’s Spirit as He comes visiting our nation. I’ve had my share of “spiritual attacks” lately. Maybe it’s a good sign that the Intercessory Prayer meet is a threat to the enemy. Maybe it’s because I “activated” my spiritual gift of prophecy. While I can say

^{ECC 3:11} He has made everything beautiful in its time.

…it’s still no fun when you are in the midst of the “attack.” Yet, I am comforted with the promises of God,

^{ISA 54:17} no weapon forged against you will prevail,

and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.

This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,

and this is their vindication from me,"

declares the LORD.

…and His wisdom,

^{ISA 55:8} "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways,"

declares the LORD.

^{ISA 55:9} "As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts.

After the CNY break, it’s back to work. For a start, there’s the Adult Bible Class in church. Then, there are several books (in BM) due for publications; there’s a preaching engagement end of April; teaching assignments in July & October. I have sometimes quietly wish that God would let me pastor a small, closely knitted church in some sub-urb but I know that is not my calling. I can’t say that I don’t like what I’m doing which in fact, I’m having fun here dealing with Christian leaders of various denominations and missions organizations all around Asia. Yet, there’s some silent wish for a more “quieter ministry,” maybe that’s a sign of aging…where you wish for something more subtle, less turbulent, and easy-going. Because of that when I was asked to consider a part-time pastorate in a church located in the main land, I cannot just brush it aside. Instead, I did some considerations over it. Yet, the truth is, I know…my calling is to serve the universal church of God. Everything else at the local church level is the side line.

Some weeks ago, I was preaching at a church that comprises mostly of members of a church where I was a youth pastor. I’m glad of this “re-connecting” network. More glad is to know that they are still keen on missions.

So, as we welcome Mickey Mouse in this Chinese New Year I’d like to greet everyone of you, my prayer partners & friends a very Kong Xi Fa Cai.

Spiritual Revelation…of seeing and dreaming

It is a big challenge to be in Christian ministry. On one hand, we see the evil around us in the world and on the other hand is the Bible that teaches us everything good. The big challenge is reconciling these two through the person of Jesus Christ. Fallen human being as we are, even upon conversion into children of a holy God, we continue our imperfect nature along the process of sanctification to Christ-likeness. Many times we face the temptation to return to our old ways. To some, they believe that when the going gets tough the tough gets going but to others they simply succumb that if you can’t beat them, join them.

I realized that it’s been a full seven years I’m in the so-called full time Christian vocation. There’s been a lot of ups and downs, moments where I came so close to giving up on full-time ministry; moments also when I came so close to giving up being a Christian. Should the Christian pilgrimage be so turbulent a journey? I don’t think so. And as I’ve discovered, it’s only for “a chosen few.” Sounds so “privileged”? As I sought after God for an understanding to this “bumpy ride,” I received an affirmation regarding a spiritual gift accorded to me. I have often foolishly believed that when one is in ministry long enough, one should naturally have spiritual wisdom/discernment. Apparently, this is not so because it is a gift that God will give to those He divinely selects. The gift of spiritual discernment and subsequently of prophecy carries huge responsibilities. To me, there is a super-thin fine line between discernment and being judgmental, and I’ve been too cautious in practicing this spiritual gift. But I’m ready to take a further step of faith to exercise the gift. I realize that I can only go further when I actually take the first step. The so-called “bumpy ride” journey as I discovered is just part and parcel of that special “calling.” Simply because, as the prophet Amos said,

^{AM 3:7} Surely the Sovereign LORD does nothing

without revealing his plan

to his servants the prophets.

It’s “scary” to see through the eyes of God. Especially on matters that are not too right happening in His church. It’s no “fun” to feel the grief of God over matters close to His heart that His under-shepherds cause a mess. Yet, and surprisingly so to our limited human understanding, it is so much a privilege to be “chosen” by God to hear His heart-beat and share in His grief. In fact, it’s an honor to be “chosen” by God to “see” what others cannot, to “feel” what others can’t, to “grief” while others “rejoice,” and to stand in the gap for my fellow believers in the faith besides teaching & preaching what the Lord lays upon my heart to convict His church.

Thus far as the Lord has taken me, I’m still being molded in the hands of the Master who is carefully “re-constructing” me into the image of His Son, Jesus. A glance through the turbulent Christian faith journey has always revealed a sense of awe at the greatness of God because,

^{Ecc. 3:11a} He has made everything beautiful in its time.

Entering 2008

For almost seven years, my off day was on Monday. I took the liberty to do every possible task on Mondays. The crowd is always small on the first day of the week. However, from this year, I'm returning to be "normal" with a regular Monday-Friday work schedule. It's difficult to get use to this. I have to "learn" to join the crowd and get used to long waits.

I doubt if anyone like changes. But if we do not change, we do not grow. Besides, maintaining the status quo will only lead to being too comfortable in our comfort zones which is ideal to breed complacency. I remember one important principle from the workbook "Experiencing God," by Henry Blackaby. This Bible Study material was so very popular in the middle and late 1990s. It says we just can't remain where we are and join God. We need to move as the Spirit of God moves. And this definitely requires change, constantly.

Joh 5:17 But Jesus said, "My Father has never stopped working, and that is why I keep on working."

Ending the Year with a Huge Bang…

Today is Sunday, 30^th Dec., the last Sunday of the year. I decided to attend the early service in church so I can say my little good-byes to my nephews who were here from PJ for a short holiday. I was spending time with them with great fun. My older nephew and I were playing water bombs and competing to wet each other in the wading pool of the local hotel. The next day we went to the beach. We rode on a horse and he was attracting much attention with his loud antics, much to my embarrassment actually. My younger nephew took his first step on the beach. As a typical city boy, he was afraid of it! But after seeing his brother having so much fun building “sand pyramids” he slowly stepped on to the beach and got acquainted with the sand. In fact, he began to enjoy the sand so much at the last minute, moments before it was time to leave! Praise the Lord for time spent with families, especially at year ends. It truly brings a sweet close to an ending year with fresh hopes to usher in a new year.

I wish this can be true for everyone everywhere in the world. I was shocked to hear of the assassination of Benazir Buttho. Regardless of what the media may paint her to be, both in the positive or negative light, she was truly a figure that deserves the respect of everyone. I see her as a true symbol of breakthrough for the Muslim community. In fact, I identify with her struggle. It’s never easy to exercise your gift effectively amidst a male-dominated society. I truly respect her courage and charisma in fighting for democracy and strived to bring political stability to her beloved land. She may not share my faith & belief system, but she became a symbol of gender equality and ability when she assumed her premiership however short they may be. Like most people the whole world over, I grief at the lost of this precious life.

I was disappointed when the worship service this morning chose to end the year with a joyful note as if disregarding what is happening outside its walls. Pakistan is in turmoil. Supporters of their assassinated leader are in so much grief and pain that those unable to control themselves express it through violence taking the whole nation into chaos.

What a year 2007 had been! War & political instability was and is happening around the world. Besides the current Pakistan, Myanmmar attracted worldwide attention not too long ago when Buddhist monks led in political demonstrations. Closer home, in fact, at home, some quarters attempted to cause disturbance to our nation’s harmony by injecting rumors and false claims. Sure there were joyful moments. There were also moments of tension. It has been a bitter sweet year.

Personally, it also described my journey through 2007 – bitter sweet. Sometimes, I wish God only calls me to serve faithfully in a small, closely-knitted congregation. But I know that’s not what He has for me. I’m called to serve the universal church and that put me in a position to deal with pastors and Christian leaders throughout the nation and sometimes even beyond. Many times I grieve at the thought of how some Christian leaders sold themselves for worldly acclaim. Chasing after position, titles, “power,” recognition, some even dwell in pride and intellectualism, disregarding Biblical mandate and commands…I didn’t know why the Lord chose to reveal this to me, but as I pray over it, He impressed upon me that the Lord wants me to stand in the gap. Though the situation sometimes pushed me to the edge of giving up in ministry, I know the Lord did not reveal that to me just so that I can pack my bags and leave. Instead, He chose to reveal that to me because He knew I will do something about it. However little my contribution may be to make a difference, I will be faithful to my calling. Who knows, out of this little obedience the Lord may cause a huge thing to come out of it. After all, revivals all over the world always began with one or two faithful souls.

I still resort to my “little book of encouragement.” Besides the Bible, this book written by Henry Blackaby has helped me to climb out of depressing ministry situations. Created to be God’s Friend: How God Shapes Those He Loves Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1999.

One prayer I hope many will share with me – pray for a greater fear of the Lord to come upon Christian leaders. We don’t fear God if we don’t take seriously the task He entrust to us. This means doing ministry in His way, not ours. God may have called us to be pastors or leaders but it’s foolish to do things the way we thought it should be done. Instead, when God calls us to lead, we should lead in His way. After all, the people we lead are His people.

2008 is just around the corner. I don’t know what’s in store for me, the church, the nation, or the world. But one thing I’m always sure is that God is still in control. After all, He holds the whole world in His hands as He makes all things beautiful in its own time. I do not want to be distracted – in my faith, in my focus, in my walk with the Lord. God is still God, He is still my God.

Adventures and Misadventures of Family

I just took a few days off to spend some time with my nephews in PJ. God created us to experience childhood and yet observing children is so much fun. My two nephews in PJ are so much fun. One is entering standard one next year and his younger brother is turning two in about two weeks' time. It was a special kind of feeling to be with a smaller version of someone who carries a part of me. I suppose environment makes a difference to how a child is groomed, apart from inherited genes. I guess it is true of God's word that children is a gift from God and parents are to be worthy stewards to raise them in godly ways. I reflect upon my own childhood and family relations. There are good and bad in those relationships. But I have decided to learn not to repeat mistakes. Instead, to learn from the past and improve on the lacks. I hope I am able to be a good aunt to my nephews. One that can impact them with godly virtues that will guide them in their lives.

Ministry is pretty relaxing. Probably because the Seminary is on its annual year-end break right now and I'm not very involved in church yet. There are work to attend to, but not very heavy loads. It's the time of the year where things go slow as the holiday season slips in. And as we enter into another season of Christmas, I hope Christians in Malaysia will once again seize the opportunity to make known the true reason of celebrating Christmas. For God so love the world....

The Universal Church

It has been a great adventure serving the Lord. As He teaches me new things and revelations, it always lead me closer to His heart. I remember about five years ago when I was seriously contemplating joining the Hannah II ship. What impressed me was the Bible School aboard the ship & they travel to small, obscure locations around Asia. Among their ministries was this teaching ministry that interest me a great deal. It was not the right time, I suppose. Today, the passion for cross-cultural missions is still very much alive within me. And the love for the universal church is very close to my heart. After all, it's only logical for a missions major to involve in missions and I've been praying, especially for the right timing. Under current circumstances, I'm not able to commit long-tem and I'm exploring short term possibilities. Thus far, there are two possibilities - Africa or Indonesia. I hope you will join me in praying & discerning for God's direction - to the right place in His time. The two areas of ministry I'm looking at are teaching & youth, both of which is possible in Ghana (Africa) or Manado (Indonesia). Will greatly appreciate your advice/comments and prayer support.

Reflecting Reflections

Spirituality is subjective. Yet, human like us attempt our best effort to understand spirituality. I think we are all too familiar with the obvious channel that education feeds the head. We forgot that spirituality starts from a changed heart. Instead of the usual channel of imparting knowledge (to the head), we should understand that it all must begin from the heart. A transformed heart views every knowledge differently. Experienced faith confront knowledge differently because you are looking through the spectacles of practical faith. Christianity should be understood first & foremost through the heart, a transformed heart that changes the spirit and understanding.