Ending the Year with a Huge Bang…

Today is Sunday, 30^th Dec., the last Sunday of the year. I decided to attend the early service in church so I can say my little good-byes to my nephews who were here from PJ for a short holiday. I was spending time with them with great fun. My older nephew and I were playing water bombs and competing to wet each other in the wading pool of the local hotel. The next day we went to the beach. We rode on a horse and he was attracting much attention with his loud antics, much to my embarrassment actually. My younger nephew took his first step on the beach. As a typical city boy, he was afraid of it! But after seeing his brother having so much fun building “sand pyramids” he slowly stepped on to the beach and got acquainted with the sand. In fact, he began to enjoy the sand so much at the last minute, moments before it was time to leave! Praise the Lord for time spent with families, especially at year ends. It truly brings a sweet close to an ending year with fresh hopes to usher in a new year.

I wish this can be true for everyone everywhere in the world. I was shocked to hear of the assassination of Benazir Buttho. Regardless of what the media may paint her to be, both in the positive or negative light, she was truly a figure that deserves the respect of everyone. I see her as a true symbol of breakthrough for the Muslim community. In fact, I identify with her struggle. It’s never easy to exercise your gift effectively amidst a male-dominated society. I truly respect her courage and charisma in fighting for democracy and strived to bring political stability to her beloved land. She may not share my faith & belief system, but she became a symbol of gender equality and ability when she assumed her premiership however short they may be. Like most people the whole world over, I grief at the lost of this precious life.

I was disappointed when the worship service this morning chose to end the year with a joyful note as if disregarding what is happening outside its walls. Pakistan is in turmoil. Supporters of their assassinated leader are in so much grief and pain that those unable to control themselves express it through violence taking the whole nation into chaos.

What a year 2007 had been! War & political instability was and is happening around the world. Besides the current Pakistan, Myanmmar attracted worldwide attention not too long ago when Buddhist monks led in political demonstrations. Closer home, in fact, at home, some quarters attempted to cause disturbance to our nation’s harmony by injecting rumors and false claims. Sure there were joyful moments. There were also moments of tension. It has been a bitter sweet year.

Personally, it also described my journey through 2007 – bitter sweet. Sometimes, I wish God only calls me to serve faithfully in a small, closely-knitted congregation. But I know that’s not what He has for me. I’m called to serve the universal church and that put me in a position to deal with pastors and Christian leaders throughout the nation and sometimes even beyond. Many times I grieve at the thought of how some Christian leaders sold themselves for worldly acclaim. Chasing after position, titles, “power,” recognition, some even dwell in pride and intellectualism, disregarding Biblical mandate and commands…I didn’t know why the Lord chose to reveal this to me, but as I pray over it, He impressed upon me that the Lord wants me to stand in the gap. Though the situation sometimes pushed me to the edge of giving up in ministry, I know the Lord did not reveal that to me just so that I can pack my bags and leave. Instead, He chose to reveal that to me because He knew I will do something about it. However little my contribution may be to make a difference, I will be faithful to my calling. Who knows, out of this little obedience the Lord may cause a huge thing to come out of it. After all, revivals all over the world always began with one or two faithful souls.

I still resort to my “little book of encouragement.” Besides the Bible, this book written by Henry Blackaby has helped me to climb out of depressing ministry situations. Created to be God’s Friend: How God Shapes Those He Loves Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1999.

One prayer I hope many will share with me – pray for a greater fear of the Lord to come upon Christian leaders. We don’t fear God if we don’t take seriously the task He entrust to us. This means doing ministry in His way, not ours. God may have called us to be pastors or leaders but it’s foolish to do things the way we thought it should be done. Instead, when God calls us to lead, we should lead in His way. After all, the people we lead are His people.

2008 is just around the corner. I don’t know what’s in store for me, the church, the nation, or the world. But one thing I’m always sure is that God is still in control. After all, He holds the whole world in His hands as He makes all things beautiful in its own time. I do not want to be distracted – in my faith, in my focus, in my walk with the Lord. God is still God, He is still my God.

Adventures and Misadventures of Family

I just took a few days off to spend some time with my nephews in PJ. God created us to experience childhood and yet observing children is so much fun. My two nephews in PJ are so much fun. One is entering standard one next year and his younger brother is turning two in about two weeks' time. It was a special kind of feeling to be with a smaller version of someone who carries a part of me. I suppose environment makes a difference to how a child is groomed, apart from inherited genes. I guess it is true of God's word that children is a gift from God and parents are to be worthy stewards to raise them in godly ways. I reflect upon my own childhood and family relations. There are good and bad in those relationships. But I have decided to learn not to repeat mistakes. Instead, to learn from the past and improve on the lacks. I hope I am able to be a good aunt to my nephews. One that can impact them with godly virtues that will guide them in their lives.

Ministry is pretty relaxing. Probably because the Seminary is on its annual year-end break right now and I'm not very involved in church yet. There are work to attend to, but not very heavy loads. It's the time of the year where things go slow as the holiday season slips in. And as we enter into another season of Christmas, I hope Christians in Malaysia will once again seize the opportunity to make known the true reason of celebrating Christmas. For God so love the world....

The Universal Church

It has been a great adventure serving the Lord. As He teaches me new things and revelations, it always lead me closer to His heart. I remember about five years ago when I was seriously contemplating joining the Hannah II ship. What impressed me was the Bible School aboard the ship & they travel to small, obscure locations around Asia. Among their ministries was this teaching ministry that interest me a great deal. It was not the right time, I suppose. Today, the passion for cross-cultural missions is still very much alive within me. And the love for the universal church is very close to my heart. After all, it's only logical for a missions major to involve in missions and I've been praying, especially for the right timing. Under current circumstances, I'm not able to commit long-tem and I'm exploring short term possibilities. Thus far, there are two possibilities - Africa or Indonesia. I hope you will join me in praying & discerning for God's direction - to the right place in His time. The two areas of ministry I'm looking at are teaching & youth, both of which is possible in Ghana (Africa) or Manado (Indonesia). Will greatly appreciate your advice/comments and prayer support.

Reflecting Reflections

Spirituality is subjective. Yet, human like us attempt our best effort to understand spirituality. I think we are all too familiar with the obvious channel that education feeds the head. We forgot that spirituality starts from a changed heart. Instead of the usual channel of imparting knowledge (to the head), we should understand that it all must begin from the heart. A transformed heart views every knowledge differently. Experienced faith confront knowledge differently because you are looking through the spectacles of practical faith. Christianity should be understood first & foremost through the heart, a transformed heart that changes the spirit and understanding.

The Road Least Traveled

I feel like Elijah (1 Kings 17-18). After the great “high” at Mount Carmel, he went deep “low” into depression. Within a week from Convocation, having received the highest academic degree from MBTS, I went steep low into depression. I am still pretty disillusioned. When you are in “full-time Christian vocation” your circle of acquaintances are Christian workers, supposedly the more “spiritual” of the lot. Yet, as I observe these so-called Christian leaders, I discovered that some of them are practicing something that is no different from the world. It does not make it okay, just to put a Christian label on something that the Church discourage in the world. The Christian community is so full of hypocrisy!

Again, like Elijah (1 Kings 19), I felt as if true Christianity is diminishing. Yet, a friend reminded me that true Christianity is still very much alive! I want so much to believe that right now. But I want to pour my grief in words. Grief over how God’s name has been used in vain by so-called leaders of His own church. As if whatever action taken in the name of the church will “sanctify” the practice and make it okay and acceptable.

I do not doubt the fact that most people know about God. I have a lot of doubt how many people actually know God. I’m not merely referring to Christians. I am specifically referring to “Christian leaders.” I know many with head knowledge, all full till swelling up. Yet, I know so few, too few who actually know God intimately. How can one deny the spiritual stale-ness when you meet with one that carries spiritual dry-ness within them? It’s not “right” to speak against the “establishment.” But how does one reconcile the apparent, obvious spiritual stale-ness day, after day? It contradict too much with what is right – the overflowing of spiritual vitality. And it is more than obvious in desert, barren spirituality.

And so the head knows. The head knows that we are fallen human beings with our limited limitations. A fact that is often used as an excuse once too often, way too often. As if we are not responsible for our own actions. I want to pray for God to purify His church. That judgment shall start from within the house of God. How dare we stain the Lord’s holiness when we measure spirituality with worldly standards? How dare we use the Lord’s name in vain? How dare we attempt to make right the wrong just so that we can receive “recognition” before men and the world?

Where is the humility? Where is the servant-hood? Where is the practice of what is being preached Sunday after Sunday? Should it not be applied into our lives? What is leadership by example if the leaders distant themselves from the rest, as if they are on a higher pedestal and that rebukes are for those on the pew, not for those from behind the pulpit? Have we forgotten who a Christian leader should be (1 Tim. 3)? What makes a Christian leader different from a leader of the world? There can be no pretense in spiritual matters. One can only give out of what he/she got. (⁴⁵ The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. Luke 6:45, NIV)

O Lord, please have mercy on us. We have fallen so far away and we didn’t even realize it. We have allowed the things of the world to dictate how to minister. We have failed as a servant, as a minister. Please take us back to the right track and grant us to be teach-able so that we can be in the light of Your will.

Psalm 69

^{PS 69:5} You know my folly, O God; my guilt is not hidden from you.

^{PS 69:7} For I endure scorn for your sake, and shame covers my face.

^{PS 69:8} I am a stranger to my brothers, an alien to my own mother's sons;

^{PS 69:9} for zeal for your house consumes me, and the insults of those who insult you fall on me.

^{PS 69:13} But I pray to you, O LORD, in the time of your favor;

in your great love, O God, answer me with your sure salvation.

^{PS 69:16} Answer me, O LORD, out of the goodness of your love; in your great mercy turn to me.

^{PS 69:30} I will praise God's name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.

Swimming Against the Tide

Physically, it is absurd. Absolutely absurd to go against the tide. It is most unpopular and to a certain extend invites ostracism as anything obviously would when it is against the norm of the day. Yet, isn’t what the Christian community ought to be? One set aside from the norm of the world? And yet, within the Christian community there exist its own sub-culture to dictate what is and not the “acceptable” norm.

Generally, there is no objection to the ideal that the Church should influence the world. However, the present state is clear that it is the world that is influencing the Church in almost all aspects of its life. I believe that there still is a remnant of “true” Christians, somewhere out there. And I constantly struggle to reconcile what the heart feels and the head knows because many times they contradict each other. On one hand, we want to see the Church in Malaysia grow in maturity. Yet, on the other we observe how its leaders make decisions, appointments, and practices that clearly reveal an extreme lack of spiritual maturity and wisdom. Do we need to “prove” ourselves? I don’t think so. Yet, because we are so influenced by worldly values, we allow worldly standards to measure our spiritual “achievements.” And where does this lead us? Obviously, it makes us no different than the world! Disappointing? Discouraging? Of a fact, as descendants of the fallen human race we can never achieve “perfection” in this side of heaven. We will always need God. True enough. But where is the value of the Cross? Where is the Resurrection power? I don’t believe we are completely hopeless because we really do have hope in Jesus Christ – no doubt about it. And this hope is the avenue to enable us reaches “Christ-likeness.”

Whatever happens to the Christian duty of a “watchman” as in Ezekiel 33? Are there prophets of God brave enough to speak the truth? And are there Christian leaders out there brave enough to obey the truth? One speaks the truth yet is not heard. One voices the truth and yet the advice not heeded. Because it goes against the tide. If a brave Christian took to the challenge of going against the norm, this Christian is often branded negatively. After all, it’s not “Christian” not to submit. A further attempt will probably cause the person to be branded “unspiritual,” “immature,” or even “unchristian.” True, we cannot have Christians broadcasting negatively about the Church either. Spiritual maturity can be seen through the consultation of fellow believers. Yet, many times dirt is wept under the carpet so as not to “stir the water.” Recognition, position, titles – aren’t these what the world sought after? Whatever happens to the Christian virtues of humility, servant-hood, and secrecy (Matt. 6:3 do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing) ? Sometimes it looks like as if within the Christian community a sub-culture is emerging; one that reflect its own version of what the world is. Example, the designation of a “pastor” is an address to a Christian minister serving within a local church context and recognized by the local congregation as holding the pastoral office. Suddenly, it has become a “title.” Suddenly, it became an address of “honor.” Where does this come from anyway? An obvious lack of theological understanding? Certainly looks that way. But is it an attempt to “create a religious hierarchy” within the Christian community.

Where o where is the desire for a Christian community of biblical purity? Have we lost it? Was it ever in us? Have we ever strived for it? Where o where is the Christian community that fears God and truly seeks for the sovereignty of God to reign and prevail? Where o where is the Christian who truly desire for God’s kingdom to reign on earth (beginning from the Christian community.

Many times disappointments & discouragements pushed me so close to the edge that I feel like giving up, not only in ministry but as a Christian. There are too many hypocrites around. And it intensifies when you are in active ministry. It worsens when you deal with Christian leaders themselves. There is spiritual dryness, lethargy, distance hovering over many Christians I meet each day. I don’t know what to do. While the Lord has given me a discerning spirit, I am careful not to cross the fine line & ended up being judgmental instead. But I grief for the lack of spiritual vitality in our Christian community. I grief for the mistakes of some Christian leaders that was thought “wise.” Simply because decisions carelessly and foolishly made today will eventually bring its impact of hurt tomorrow or the day after. Sometimes, the hurt will be just too deep to heal and the damage too severe to mend.

These are the words of him who holds the seven spirits of God and the seven stars. I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your deeds complete in the sight of my God. Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard; obey it, and repent. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what time I will come to you. (Rev 3:1-3, NIV)

"Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; so hear the word I speak and give them warning from me. When I say to a wicked man, `You will surely die,' and you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. But if you do warn the wicked man and he does not turn from his wickedness or from his evil ways, he will die for his sin; but you will have saved yourself.
"Again, when a righteous man turns from his righteousness and does evil, and I put a stumbling block before him, he will die. Since you did not warn him, he will die for his sin. The righteous things he did will not be remembered, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. But if you do warn the righteous man not to sin and he does not sin, he will surely live because he took warning, and you will have saved yourself."(Ezekiel 33:17-21, NIV)

Convocation 2007…

It was a great evening I must say. God truly revealed Himself as a great God, a loving Father, and a marvelous Provider. I was pretty sick a few short days prior to the Convocation weekend. But the good Lord sustained me through. The Convocation service ended slightly before 10pm & by 10.30pm, I was almost ready to collapse. I was so sick the next day; I literally stayed in bed throughout the day. My fever must have been quite high. After all, I felt as if I could breathe out great balls of fire!

I almost didn’t want to “graduate.” After all, it’s my third master degree from MBTS & it’s not cheap to graduate with all those fees and dues. But I was glad I went ahead with the graduation plan. The thrill for me was being the first recipient of the ThM (Missiology). Apart from that it was just a small insignificant step to reach a PhD. After all, the School requires a ThM for the PhD entry. And that’s just it. Little did I realize that my little “achievement” brought big impact & significance to the people around me. A fellow graduate from Mongolia told me that she was proud to have met me because she had never met a lady receiving a ThM before. Some lecturers who realized the demands of the program came to express similar encouragements. Because my love language is word of encouragement, it was a great evening & the Lord sustained me long enough to be encouraged and affirmed. There were also families of friends who shared my joy so much that it touched me to the very core! Not to mention greetings from fellow colleagues, students, and co-workers in ministry. Thanks to technology, the whole evening was recorded & I can’t wait to get a copy of that short little moment when I took the scroll to encouraging cheers from people who shared with me the goodness of a great God.

Just another short testimony – most of you do not know me from my childhood. The truth is that I was never a good student at all through my school days. I was the average/below average student. The first time the Lord gave me the impression to proceed to study for a master degree was when I was in my first year of my undergraduate study in UM. I could still remember that moment when I was sitting beside the dirty Tasik Universiti in the cool of the evening. It scared the freak out of me! But those were “formation” years that the Lord took to break a proud, money-minded, career-focused, and materialistic person. And I know He’s not through with me yet…but right now, I’m ready to be molded in the hands of the Master.

I’m writing to thank all of you; for all your prayers, partnership, fellowship, love, and thoughts. The little that you contributed to my life had made quite a difference. The next step is to pursue PhD and there’s more challenges ahead. Why I need to press on further? Because my greatest conviction is that my God deserves the best. He always gives me the very best and I want to give the best back to Him. Because I can only give out of what I’ve got, I need to equip myself when opportunity presents itself for me to better myself so that I can keep giving Him the better from the previous best. And knowing the great God that we serve, it’s worth every effort. I’m glad I gave up everything for Him because truly, it’s worth it!

I believe it’s a little thing for a great God to take an average/below average student to have 4 degrees. I’m a dreamer and I dream big because I know I can only achieve as far as I dare to dream. But I invite you to join me in dreaming big for our God so that together we can bring a difference to impact our generation in this nation & beyond to the glory of our God.

Of Watching and Waiting

It's just one more week before Convocation. Everyone in campus is anxious, especially graduating students. Funny that I still feel anxious despite it being my fourth convocation. I suppose it's because it's another mile-stone. The excitement is in being the first ThM (Missiology) graduating from MBTS. It's making a mark in history, even in a small, insignificant way. But I am careful not to allow this to get into my head. After all, it was just last Saturday when I preached at a Saturday evening service in a local church when I was exhorting the church to be God-minded. By that I meant to remind them how worldly values always try to tempt us into adopting its values. Achievements of sorts in the form of academic/professional gain, career advancements, latest and fanciful "toys," etc.

I believe this is a huge challenge for us, Christians. Being in the world that is constantly bombarding us with its own set of values. And on the other hand, wanting to be Christ-like we have to disregard worldliness and adopt a system of values that contradicts worldliness. When society honors a person with impressive job titles or fantastic academic/professional achievements, the church often got carried away and conform to honor such "achievements." Somehow, as I observe, worldly values have entered the church. In some circumstances, it's way too much & it choked out Godly values. I'm constantly praying that the Lord keep reminding me to walk in His will - at ALL times, even & especially at times when I am at a cross-road of choice between worldly expectation and heavenly expectation. While I'm not accountable for the person next to me, I definitely am accountable for my own actions.

I still remember how embarassed I was at one time last year. It was a casual leaders retreat for the Hokkien ministry (no, I did not share in Hokkien). After the casual preaching of the Word, the pastor came up to me and asked what is it that the Seminary is teaching. He personally witness how a graduate telling his church members that it is okay to engage in social drinking (of alcoholic beverages). I was shocked & speechless. But as I recall that moment, I did some exploration into this issue of drinking. It is clear that the Bible wants us, Christians & leaders in particular to be above reproach. But when we engage in social, public drinking, we lost that credibility. Occasional drinking is acceptable in this culture. I don't know why. After all, drinking (alcoholic beverages) is never a culture here until we became "westernized." It's a real huge challenge for us Christians and leaders especially to remain above reproach, yet, I know this is not impossible because we serve a great God, a God of the impossible. The problem is with us individuals. After being a Christian for awhile, we thought we are smart enough. Just because we are church leaders, we often think we are more spiritual. That's what we think we are, often not what God thinks of us. The Malay idiom rings true to say that the more you are, the humbler you'll be. Because it is "the empty vessels that make the most noise."

I was grading a student's paper yesterday when I read her making a reference to personality types. The Myers-Briggs personality test reveals that I'm ENTJ, the La-Haye temperament test reveals me as Choleric-Melancholy. There are times I am caught in a huge frustration but as I discover myself, I've learnt to allow God mellow me down. But I'm not giving up on my big dreams. If there's one way I want to describe myself, it's being a dreamer. I dream big and I encourage dreaming because one can achieve only as much as he/she dares to dream. Because I serve a big God, I dare to dream big. After all, it takes the same effort! And I'm still reminded of the prophecies I received - years apart from different servants of God who do not know each other - the promise of God for big things and the period of time I have to be in a "cocoon." I'm believing God for big things, I'm only impatient with my "cocoon" season. There's a whole world to reach for God and the place God has for me is not confined. It is big and it is huge - I'm too eager to engage in it. "Expect great things from God, attempt great things for God." This is what William Carey said, a phrase that is still inspiring thousands upon thousands today...

I am extremely thankful for how God has been steering my life and ministry. Yet I know there's still so much to learn. I'm having a lot of fun and it's a tremendous joy to relate/network with missions/missionaries all over the world to see the "big picture." In fact, this is really me - the big picture person who dislike details.

And so, it's only next week before I receive another degree. It's another evidence of the grace of God and His goodness in taking me through these various phases in life. And the honor is the Lord's.

Proud to be a Malaysian!

Graduation and beyond...

In about two weeks' time is MBTS's 52nd Convocation Service. I'd like to take this opportunity to extend my personal invitation to all of you to come and share with us, the goodness of God, of how He had carried us through our years of training and equipping so that we can serve Him & the Church better. I'll be graduating with ThM (Master of Theology). No, not PhD yet. I dropped out of the AGST's ThM/PhD (education) program to pursue ThM (Missiology). MBTS system requires a ThM before pursuing PhD, so i'm acquiring the ThM first. Though I'm ready to immediately continue to PhD, I was advised to take a year's break from formal study. Thus, I'll only be officially studying again after next year.

For those of you who are able, please join us at the Caring Complex on 9th Nov, 8pm. We have 45 graduating students this year (26 from English Stream & 19 from Chinese Stream). In fact, this will be the first year we are graduating a ThM in Missiology. It's probably a long weekend with the Deepavali break on 8th Nov. & Friday being a CG day for most of you. But if you're thinking of taking a break from CG, pick this date & come join us. I know, I know...it may be a bit dull. I mean, this is my 4th graduation, my 3rd from MBTS itself & many of you may be tired of receiving my graduation invites, anyway. But do come, if you are able...and be a part of what God is doing in our midst as you witness graduates completing their training & ready to make a difference for God in this generation in various nations all over the world. Hope to see you there.

Phil. 1:3 I thank my God every time I remember you

Length of Life's Journey

Saturday 20th October 2007. Today was my uncle’s funeral. He passed away in the evening last Tuesday. I just went to visit him at the nursing home on the previous Monday. Although I had a strong urge to pray for him, I did not do that. He was not himself then. His speech did not make any sense. And I know that even if I prayed for him, it would not make any difference. The funeral was conducted in the typical Chinese observance. There were both Taoist and Buddhist rituals. In fact, I had an amusing time observing the rites. I took a seat from an angle that provided me with a good view of everything that went on. So, I found myself facing as if in confrontation with 5 Buddhist monks while 3 Taoist monks performed various rituals. At the end of the rituals, the head (Buddhist) monk ridiculed the Taoist monks! I mean, he sneered at them with remarks like, “So that’s it? Monks for just one, two hours?” I was amused, and also disappointed that this so-called “head” monk, who supposedly have better self-control had actually publicly ridiculed Taoist monks!

Throughout the days after my uncle’s death leading to the funeral, I had a busy time rushing here & there in an effort to lend support to my cousins. At that time, I was the only one in my immediate family in Penang. Most relatives reside in the Klang Valley and it took them some time to travel back. Family reunions are often during weddings and funerals, so, in a way, that was a family reunion time. I had the opportunity to meet relatives I seldom meet. I met children of cousins who are so grown up, they are practically entering adulthood! I have almost always feel out of place among my relatives. Probably because I’m at the younger age group bracket and there are very few relatives in my age group. Probably because I’m a Christian and that set me apart as different from the rest. Yeah, there are some Christians among my relatives and I’m still questioning the effectiveness of us, Christians in our family, if we do not make our presence felt in family occasions. As I conversed with older relatives who are at the same generation as me, I saw the change of perspective. The older one gets, the more one focus upon the importance of family solidarity. There was a time when the topics of conversations were careers and opportunities of advancement, talks of education and opportunities of excelling materially. Perhaps, different phases of life change our perspective as we experience differing life situations. Diverse as we may be, I learnt much from observing different characters among my relatives.

Back to ministry matters. There’s been a lot of dinners and gatherings as the MBTS community prepares for the coming 52nd convocation. I thank God for the opportunity to meet and fellowship and to network with fellow ministry workers from all over the world. As we pack our bags to venture into the next phase, I pray that the Lord will continue to nurture our relationships. It’s been a great year in the missions department with many interesting characters among our students. And as I continue to seek the Lord for further equipping, I pray for the passion to impact our generation to be birthed within each of our hearts with such urgency that it spurred us to be fervent for Him in all that we do.

Reflections…from the perspective of a single lady church minister in an Asian context

I have completed my thesis last month and it has been a time to relax. I mean, I’ve finished all of my study requirements and there’s no more pending assignments and deadlines. Probably, I’ll be pretty free till end of the year. There’s still the lacking confirmation of my roles in MBTS. All I’m certain of is I’ll still be serving in the BM Dept. & the Graduate School. The other “tasks” I’m just not sure of it yet. There’s still some coordinating to be done between MBTS & GBC concerning my ministry in MBTS.

The relaxing days allow me to think & reflect upon ministry. There are little, little things around that I was able to pick up. Perhaps it’s due to the discerning gift I received from God. Recently, I met with a senior Christian leader. He was pretty discouraging when I mentioned I intended to pursue further in my studies. Prior to that, we met to discuss about ministry. I was pretty uncomfortable when he kept saying, “So, you wish to be in this ministry…” He kept stressing on the word “wish” that after the second time, I was not feeling uncomfortable any more. I was getting upset & disappointed. Maybe it was not intended & I gave him the benefit of the doubt but he stressed the word “wish” often enough and in such a way as if I do not deserve to serve in that capacity, and it was just a wishful thinking! I confess that at that instant, my respect for this senior church leader took a plunge to almost a bottomless pit! However, I learned something from this incident. As ministers and leaders, we must dream and encourage the people that we minister. And it is so important to dream together with young ministers to encourage them and to cheer them on to reach their potentials. Perhaps this senior church leader is just being bias. After all, in most if not all Asian cultures, age and gender determines a lot of things. You have to be a man or you have to be old to do anything “significant.” Apart from these two “crucial” requirements, you are not taken seriously.

I remember earlier in the year when I was presenting a paper in a graduate seminar on Women in Missions. I mentioned that women in the corporate sector have to be twice as good to be accepted as an equal but in ministry, women ministers just have to be three times as anointed to be accepted as an equal to their male counterparts. My classmates were amused but after the class, many of them realized that I am right. The Methodist church does ordain women ministers but apparently, it is harder & longer for them to achieve that. A classmate from America shared with me that in their denomination the two persons who made a huge impact were women. A missions organization regional director told of how women were the first to volunteer to enter into difficult mission fields. After the work has been established, men will come in & eventually assume leadership!

My confession here…I’m often frustrated at the lack of ministry opportunities accorded to women. However gifted they may be. It’s extremely difficult for single women ministers. Married women often can “use” their husbands as a “platform.” It’s like as if men are threatened by capable women. Women are supposed to be submissive. If not, we are not being spiritual. It makes no sense at all. From the very beginning, God created man & woman to complement each other. Yeah, so the fall distorts the original order. But if we claim to be redeemed people, why aren’t we attempting to restore that original order? Why are we still living under the curse? Isn’t the resurrection power strong enough to break such bondage? Or maybe men acknowledge its power in every aspect except in that one area that will force them to acknowledge their equality with women? Paul acknowledged the partnership of women in ministry. Jesus himself worked with women. Why then does the modern church decide to go back in time instead? The sad truth is, there are also women ministers who will make it hard for younger women minister to progress and grow in ministry!

We thought the West should be more liberal. Apparently, it’s not. In a lesser degree perhaps but gender biasness still exists. I think it exists in every religious institutions all over the world. But my argument is that Christianity is not a religion. It is a relationship. It is a call for its followers to subscribe to a way of life that contradicts everything the world places value. We are called to be different. But as it is, how different is the church from the world? If the church promotes equality, why is there gender biasness in the church office bearers?

Maybe the failure is seen in the inability of the church to complete its discipleship program. The ultimate end of conversion should be the transformation of worldview. Every Christian should be transformed into the likeness of Christ – we all know that. But prior to that is what Paul said in Romans 12:2 “be transformed by the renewing of your mind” which urged us to transform our worldview & to adopt the Biblical worldview. Few Christian actually achieve that. Sadly to say, few Christian leaders achieve that too.

I think the culprit is our inability to differentiate the messenger’s culture, Biblical culture, and the hearer’s culture. When we failed to divorce culture from the Biblical message, we unconsciously import our worldview into the salvation message we bring to our hearers. At the end of it, we may think the Bible is teaching us something but it can actually be just a cultural element.

Thus, the challenge remains. For a single woman minister in the Christian church/organization – age & gender – these are factors that work against us in the eastern cultures. But God is not like men. He does not favor according to gender, wealth, position, etc. I believe in His time, He will turn things around. Simply because I know He still gives big dreams to both men & women. He still calls both men & women to serve Him in various capacities. He still honors both men & women who are faithful. And He is still looking for both men & women who will respond to Him and answer His trumpet call to be His end-time soldiers who will fearlessly make a difference for Him to impact nations, in this generation. And we just need to keep on in faithfulness & perseverance to allow Him to work in us and through us to transform the church, society, nation, and the world.

Your Promise Lord, is Like the Dawn of Each Day

JANJI-MU SEPERTI FAJAR

Ketika ku hadapi kehidupan ini, When I face this life,
Jalan mana yang harus ku pilih, And question the way I should chose,
Ku tahu ku tak mampu, I know I'm not capable,
Ku tahu ku tak sanggup, I know I'm not able,
Hanya Kau Tuhan, tempat jawapan-ku. Only You Lord has my answers.

Aku pun tahu ku tak pernah sendiri, I know I'm never alone,
Sebab Kau Allah yang mengendong-ku, You're a God who carries me,
Tangan-Mu membelai-ku, Your hand gently caressing me,
Cinta-Mu memuaskan-ku, Your love satisfies me,
Kau mengangkat-ku ke tempat yang tinggi. You lift me to a higher place.

Janji-Mu seperti fajar pagi hari, Your promises Lord is like the dawn of a new day,
Yang tiada pernah terlambat bersinar, It's never too late to shine,
Cinta-Mu seperti sungai yang mengalir, Your love is like a flowing stream,
Dan ku tahu betapa dalam kasih-Mu. And I know how deep is your love.

This song especially, and several others have been playing over and over in my head for the last couple of days, or weeks. I'm captivated by the passion of the carefully crafted words of the writer who seeks after God and being assured of His promises that will never come too late. If you listen to its original singer who sings with much passion, you will also want to listen to it - over and over again. My earlier blog entry actually gave links to the YouTube video of these songs. The one song that sings itself constantly in my head these couple of days is sung by the same singer. This is the song:

SEPERTI YANG KAU INGINI

Bukan dengan barang fana Not with perishable things
Kau membayar dosaku You have paid for my sins
Dengan darah yang mahal But with precious blood
Tiada noda dan cela Without dirt and fault
Bukan dengan emas perak Not with gold or silver
Kau menebus diriku You redeemed me
Oleh segenap kasih But with complete love
Dan pengorbananMu And Your sacrifice

Kutelah mati dan tinggalkan I have died and left behind
Cara hidupku yang lama My old ways of life
Semuanya sia-sia dan tak berarti lagi They are useless and meaningless
Hidup ini kuletakkan This life I lay
Pada mezbahMu ya Tuhan At Your altar oh God
Jadilah padaku seperti yang Kau ingini Made me to be as You desire

What captivated me most about the lyrics is the chorus that echoes my desire to die to my old self because those things no longer hold any meaning. They are all useless. And this life I lay at the altar of God, asking Him to mold me as He wants.

This morning, I led the dawn prayer meeting in campus. I must confess that I am sieged by the conviction of personal revival. This is a recent revelation I received as I meditated on the theme for the morning prayer. I want to be more in love with God. I want to receive a fresh awakening and to chase after things of God with such fervency - it will be as if I've never known God before. I pray for a renewed passion to run after Him, to long after Him, and to thirst for Him with such unquechable thirst that makes me desire Him as how the deer pants for streams of water. May revival come, and may it start from within my heart. May spiritual awakening come, and may it start from a weak spirit within me that longs to be awakened to the trumpet call of the Living God. May I draw closer to Him, who is my Father...my eternal Father who always gives me when I ask, who never lets me walk alone, who is always beside me and for me. My father who is eternal...my God who looks from the highest heaven.

BAPA YANG KEKAL

Kasih yang sempurna Perfect love

Telah, ku trima dari-Mu I have received from You

Bukan karna, kebaikan-ku Not because of my own goodness

Hanya, oleh kasih karunia-Mu Only because of your gift of love

Kau pulihkan aku You revived me

Layakkan-ku, tuk dapat memanggil-Mu Bapa Made me worthy to call You Father

Kau bri yang ku pinta You give what I ask

Saat ku mencari ku mendapatnya The moment I seek I find it

Ku ketuk pintu-Mu I knock at Your door

Dan Kau buka-kan And You open it

Kau-lah Bapa-ku, Bapa yang kekal You're my Father, my eternal Father

Tak kan Kau biarkan You never let me

Aku melangkah hanya sendirian Walk alone

Kau selalu ada, bagi-ku You're always with me

Kau-lah Bapa-ku, Bapa yang kekal.You're my Father, my eternal Father

Favorite Inspirations at YouTube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKmdIdQg3Ks
(Father's Love Letter)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRRUqhGcuqc
(Franky Sihombing: Bapa Yang Kekal)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AT1JWhDOJos
(Franky Sihombing: JanjiMu Seperti Fajar)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPdQPJFwW4Y
(Nikita: Seperti Yang Kau Ingini)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fseg2sww6R8
(Jeffry Tjandra: Seperti Yang Kau Ingini)

Ministry Update

The days are passing by so fast. Could it be that we have too many things to attend to that time seems to fly faster? I enjoyed the three mission trips the last 3 months. Those were times that brought significant insights into the ministry I am involved. I've completed all study requirements and I'm pretty free now. Besides having a lot of time to myself, I also have time to reflect, to relax, and to consider the next phase in life and ministry.

In the last few weeks, several incidents shook the world. Well, literally we witnessed another strong earthquake in Indonesia. That was another devastating natural disaster. Another wake-up call, I would consider-for Christians to awake from their complacency. The incident took place close enough to Malaysia so that the church can discern the urgency of time. I wonder whether Christians can guard their spirituality to with-stand tremors when the storms of life threaten our faith. Malaysian Christians have it too easy. Many of us do not possess tested faith and indeed it is tested faith that grows us into spiritual maturity.

We observe how Myanmar is thrown into disorder from civil protests. That's political instability that threatens the peace of the nation. And again, Myanmar is close enough to Malaysia for us, Christians to ponder: do we have the peace of God in our hearts if there isn't peace around us? If there is constant instability surrounding us, is the peace of God reigning in us to offer us comfort and assurance?

I believe many Malaysian Christians realize the need to be revived. We take a look around us, around the Christian community and we ask why we have lost our first love. We question why we have lost that fervency to chase after things of God. We wonder why we are not praying as hard. We cannot understand why so few of us are in active service in church and ministry. I believe many of us fear that we need a huge disaster to wake the church. God's trumpet call seems too soft for us to hear when the noise of the world quickly drown every trumpet call of God. Yes, truly I hope to see spiritual revival in Christian organizations all over the nation. Yet, I also know that the first step need to begin right here-that revival should start from me and in me. Thus, my prayer is that God will awake my spirit with a renewed passion, a renewed desire, and a fresh fervency to chase after things of God.

So, my call this time is for Christians to pray for personal revival. If all of us capture that desire, I believe the church will be revived.

SB

Jer33:3 (NIV)`Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'

sb-makingadifference

Ministry Update

I survived STCM 2007! It was filled with activities but we at MBTS survived through another STCM, all by God’s grace. The hiccups were lessons for improvement next year. Praise God for it all…

I enjoyed the 3 consecutive mission trips, one a month for 3 consecutive months. They were great. Culminating at the end was the trip to Indonesia, at a place were we were restricted to use any Christian jargon. That was a challenge…for many of us to experience a C4, C5, or even C6 context. What it taught me was to re-define “work.” My team members and the host team were great. They were such fantastic people who love God so much, it overflow through their lifestyles.

I have completed my thesis. Praise the Lord for His grace. However, the final assignment on youth missions is still in progress. It’s hard to get back to work so soon after a major “accomplishment” of the thesis. But I just have to discipline myself…and should not let the momentum slow down!

Today is Malaysia’s 50th Independence Day. I’m truly glad for the freedom of worship and opportunities we have to develop many sectors of society. Yea, there are hiccups here & there, but where can we find a perfect government here on earth? I’m proud of Malaysia & I’m proud to be Malaysian. Last night, I attended a special Merdeka Day Service held in a church across the bridge. It was a new experience. It actually was a prayer & cultural service leading to the countdown to merdeka. There were praises, worship, prayers, and performances from various Peninsular and East Malaysian ethnic groups. I look forward to similar future services. It exhibited the true spirit of Malaysia and proves the patriotism of the Malaysian church. What touched me significantly was the singing of the national anthem at midnight. When I was in Indonesia, I witnessed how their national anthem was sung in such a patriotic manner in a home group. It touched me so deeply and made me so embarrassed because for the almost 20 years of my being a Christian, I cannot remember a single moment where we sing our national anthem in church or in a home group. So, it was especially significant when I joined in singing Negara-ku in church, right on the golden anniversary of my country’s independence. I pray that the church will jointly pray for the true independence of the spiritual sense for all individual Malaysians.

Please remember me in prayer. The new and final term of the year in MBTS will begin the week after next. There are preparations to be done leading to the Convocation service in early November. And as usual, December will be pretty relaxing before we meet the challenge of another new academic year. Pray for the graduating students (me included) and also prospective students.

PHP 1:3 I thank my God every time I remember you.

SB

Ministry Update August 2007

Wow! I didn't realize we have reached August. The last two months, I went to visit the OA Settlements - up north & down south. It has been great adventures & experiences. I'll be going beyond the border later this month. Please pray for my team & I. STCM in campus is drawing to an end. The next phase of busyness is preparations for convocation. I hope most if not all of you are able to drop by & share with us the goodness of God. It's on Nov 9 at the Caring Complex in Penang.

Will be updating you appropriately; God is sustaining us...we are in good hands.

SB

Ministry Update – July 07

I’m writing a response to my earlier entry where I mentioned a topic that some consider “taboo.” I questioned the spiritual discernment of some Christian leaders I know and some friends offered a lot of wisdom and it really helped me confront this issue better. But I still am finding it difficult to reconcile several obvious aspects. Before I go any further, perhaps I need to attempt to “clear the air” a bit. I was referring to an outreach work across the bridge in the main land.

Most Christians would think that to question spiritual authority is an act of non-submission. I agree to a certain extent. I’ve been in the pastoral ministry before and I’m well aware of how leadership is often bombarded with criticism from all sides. But we need to differentiate helpful criticism from harmful criticism. There is no place for spectators in the Christian journey, only participants. Because of that, I consider an opinion is only of value if it comes from a participant, not an observant (in any ministry). And through my few limited years of Christian pilgrimage, I have acquired quite a bit of discernment to distinguish spirit-controlled ministry vs. human-abled work. I think most Christians who seek after God would have similarly acquire such “ability.” I doubt any of us can feel nothing when confronted with something that is spiritually not right. All of us should re-act. It’s a matter of how we re-act. God did not make us to be like robots, instead, we are created in His image. I can be honest to question Him and raise my doubts because I am limited in my understanding. And I see no reason not to raise similar doubts concerning other fellow creators.

I believe that when God gave us brains, we are meant to be thinkers. And to think Christianly is no easy task when we are surrounded by worldliness. This is a challenge for the church today. This is a challenge for the maturing church in Malaysia…to think for ourselves, and to self theologize so that the Malaysian church is authentically Malaysian. Christians must definitely learn to think Christianly or the world is going to do the thinking for the church!

Ministry Update

The previous month was one busy month. However, I thoroughly enjoyed it. There were continuous activities in campus, dinners with church friends and colleagues, preaching engagements, and a short mission trip. I’m now preparing for the next module of STCM. The BM school will start a week later. There will be weekend activities at every weekend, culminating with another short over-the-weekend mission trip (last month was up north but this month it’ll be down south). At the close of STCM, there will be several missions teams traveling to various missions locations. I’m participating in a team to Indonesia.

I hardly have time to work on my thesis. I’m revising the first draft & seem to be stuck at the concluding chapter. Anyway, my supervisor will be away to Africa for the next 3 weeks, so it doesn’t matter if I drag it a bit. But in a week’s time I’ll be attending the last classroom course. Yeah! Then no more classroom courses…as a student that is?!

There is one issue that I’ve been confronted with recently. If any of you can lend some wisdom, I will greatly appreciate it. I can’t elaborate publicly this matter but I’m questioning the lack of spiritual discernment on the part of several Christian leaders I know. I don’t know whether it is because I’m too idealistic, too futuristic, or too naïve myself but when a situation contradicts the Biblical mandate (or advice) I think it’s extremely foolish to pursue that matter. I believe the church should be influencing the world, however, many circumstances in the church today reveal that it is the world that is influencing the church! If God prompts you to think along this line, do share your thoughts with me.

Updating you briefly this month…SB

Ministry Update June 2007

Dear partners in ministry,

Thanks for your partnership in serving God together. It’s been an extremely busy time here in campus. We have two modules of the School of Trans-Cultural Missions this short term. The first module has the English/Chinese stream plus the children studies (HCD). The second module has the English/Chinese stream plus the BM stream! We are planning field trips to the OA settlements end of each module and concluding the school are missions teams to various parts of South East Asia.

I’ve completed my first draft of thesis and it has been returned for revision. I’m glad that I only have to re-write one chapter (out of six). Next month I’m attending the final classroom course and I’m done with classroom courses (forever! Dissertation is 100% research). I hope to return to “normal church life” by October after disciplining myself to complete all requirements for graduation in early November. (Yea, I’m graduating again but no big deal this time, the sash color is still the same as the previous)

Please remember in prayer:
1. The STCM here in campus: overseas students/lecturers – travels, study, activities…
2. The missions teams: preparations, travel, logistics…
3. The exciting topic & writing of my thesis “Urban Youth in Cross-cultural Missions”
4. The youth work that is progressing slow & sturdy at GBC (S)
5. The ever growing Viet church
6. The fear of God upon the church & spiritual awakening of the church in Malaysia
7. Cousins/neighbors to embrace the Truth

Once again, Phil 1:3, Aku mengucap syukur kepada Allahku setiap kali aku mengingat kamu.

SB

Ministry Update – May 2007

After three consecutive weeks of preaching engagements I was ready to take a break. Actually, it also marked my 50% done of my thesis (first draft). So, I think I deserve a little break. I went to visit my nephews in PJ over the long weekend. The problem with taking a break is the reluctance of getting back to work! That’s why I’m in front of the PC right now writing this blog entry.

The Seminary is all geared up for the next School of Trans-Cultural Missions (STCM). There are exciting programs lining up – classroom instructions, field study, etc. I’m taking a team to Pengkalan Hulu end of June, another team to Gopeng at the end of July and still another team to Acheh in August. So, should I go for the church camp scheduled for the first weekend of June? I’m still pondering. But back to Seminary news, we have just launched another prayer meeting. Besides the dawn prayer meetings that are attended by most residential students, we have this lunch time prayer meetings. And I invite you to share my vision for the Seminary to be so soaked in prayers that there is an open heaven above us. Those of you who are MBTS Alumni, do join us to carry the burden for a spiritual revival of our Seminary.

My thesis is coming along well. It’s a great opportunity to speak to various churches to discover the status of youth ministry in Malaysian Baptist churches all through the peninsular. Apart from that is the study into various aspects of discipleship, training, missions education, etc. What is more exciting is that my study is an original research needing raw data from the field. Actually, I’m very excited to pursue further into a dissertation on missions strategy involving youth in missions. Anyone like to join me in this study?

Ministry in church is progressing well, I suppose. The new youth group is doing sturdily well in GBC South. We are meeting once a month, at the first Saturday of each month. Our regular program is a game followed by Bible study and we project towards the next meeting & how to prepare for it. I’m hoping to build some accountability in them as I asked them to commit themselves to study a certain portion of the Bible. I certainly welcome suggestions from anyone of you. There’s some good youth study materials offered to us at the Seminary by some local publishers at a discounted rate. I think if we start using these, I can start letting the youth lead some sessions. Youth needs to know that they don’t need to wait until tomorrow to be effective ministers.

The Viet church is growing. It’s due to the Viet pastor who is actively ministering to the Viets around Paya Terubong. This old man can hold cell groups to cater to those working on shifts regardless of time. This means, there’s a cell meeting at 2am!

Please remember me in prayer – the three mission trips (two short over the weekend field trip & the overseas one), my studies (scheduled to graduate this November with ThM), my ministries in MBTS (BM Dept., Graduate Studies Dept., Missions Dept.) & in church (GBC South & Viet church). Thank you. (Phil. 1:3)

Ministry Update April 2007

Ministry Update April 2007
11 April 2007

Entering into the second quarter of the year gives the impression that things are moving so fast, maybe just too fast. On Good Friday I finished the last of the assignments for my doctoral seminar (I have some doctoral seminars & several master level courses for my ThM program & there's only one more master level course in July besides the thesis to complete my program) I spent Resurrection Day with two wonderful friends. We had the best koay teow thng in town for breakfast & attended Easter Service in church; then we proceeded to the best char koay teow in town for lunch, then adjourned to the best ice-cream parlor in town. What a Sunday!

I preached the Easter message at the Vietnamese church & it was frustrating because my interpreter could not understand "evidence" nor "proof" – so I let you imagine how I delivered a message on the proof of Easter…I hope my next preaching engagement this Sunday will turn out better. After all, she eagerly asked for the message script to be emailed to her as soon as possible. Please pray for this ministry. They are extremely hungry for God's Word and whenever the Vietnamese pastor is away, we are limited by language.

We had the second youth meeting at GBC South last Saturday (someone mentioned that I ought to report about church ministry in my updates) The first meeting the previous month had 3 members & the second (last Saturday) we had 9. Please join us to pray for this young group. They are very fun & active.

I led the dawn prayer meeting in campus this morning, once again sharing the burden in my heart for revival. Was pretty upset & disappointed seeing blank faces staring at me in the midst of the meeting. But God never fail to amaze me. Despite being so disappointed with myself & the students, great things are churning. One student shared with me of her burden to pray more, to soak campus with prayer, etc. then at lunch another student stepped up beside me to ask if I have the burden to join him in praying for our cousins. And guess what?! These two students are Honkies! Malaysians, where are you?!

Soon we will be publishing several books translated into BM. They are now in the final stages of editing before publishing. There are exciting developments in the BM Dept. (sorry I can't be more specific), teaching/preaching engagements, my mission trip to Acheh and most of all great things God is revealing everyday…Thank you for your partnership in ministry.

Ministry Update March/April 2007

Days are moving fast don’t they? After my previous posting I was thinking, what can I post next? And now as the month comes to an end, I have found so many things to share. Well, last Sunday was a great worship service in church. Partly because it has been a long time since I heard some preaching. Huh? You may wonder. There should be preaching at every Sunday worship service, right? Well, that is the ideal. However, I discovered that many people failed to distinguish the difference between preaching & teaching. Even preachers themselves. 95% of the time, at Sunday worship services, the message was taught & not preached. I remember last year when I conducted a sermon preparation workshop at FGA with some lay preachers. When I asked the difference between preaching & teaching, no one gave an adequate answer. Besides, most of them looked puzzled. And they are not alone. In fact, most people would think preaching is teaching & teaching is preaching. Nope! That’s not it. There is a fine line dividing the two. But before I give you the answer, why not pause awhile & think…what is the difference?

I taught my first Bible class in BM. It went well. I was pretty worried of my lack of fluency in the spoken BM language. But praise God that my students were very patient & helpful. Despite the lack of language fluency, the Lord was with us & we had a lot of fun studying the historical books of the OT. I gave the lecturer evaluation form at the end of the course & received very good feedback. It encouraged me a lot. In fact, the comments were so good, I felt embarrassed reading them! (Perhaps the student wanted to encourage me, perhaps they were aware that I have not marked their tests and assignments yet!)

At present I am doing a self study course on Christian leadership in missions. The books I have to read were great. In fact, they were so interesting I found myself completing the reading assignments so fast! Among the many things I learnt were about planning, communication, team work, team building, management, etc. But one very interesting thing I learnt was this – give and it will be given to you. I’ve always known that familiar Bible verse – ask & it shall be given – but this is a bit different. Only recently did I discover the truth of it.

I found myself getting deeper & deeper involved in my students. Somehow, I just have this passion to give the best of all I have in every single task the Lord entrusted to me. (Be faithful even unto little, eh?!) And it so surprised me when this one student commented that I’m so a pastor because I regularly ask a few of them regarding their progress in studies. Huh? I have always known the pastoral tendency in me is the most and very weakest. But as I pour out care & concern, I received that in return. As I gave, it was given to me. You see, I was in a pretty frustrated moment. Then a simple phone call came to enquire, “hey…heard you were in such & such a situation, you doing ok?” Well, I suppose that’s what pastors ought to be doing. It’s only that I’ve never received such attention. (Thanks Alan…you’re a brother!) And it also taught me how I need to be more sensitive to people I work with and people all around me. (Honestly, I’m pretty “numb”!!!) Bottom line is: there’s still so much I need to learn!

I had a very interesting meeting over lunch with a friend recently. And I’ve learnt so much from her. I have to admit that I’m such a green horn in ministry. After serving in the pastoral capacity and comparing studying about it, I must admit that one definitely need to have a proper balance of the two. Seminary training is redundant without practical ministry. Just the same, practical experiences carry no weight without proper training. There really need to be adequate balance of the two. I praise the Lord for the networking opportunity He is opening to me, locally & overseas. It’s great serving here at the Seminary. It’s fun in the missions department. It’s exciting exploring cross-cultural studies. And those who have had a taste of it will testify to this. Just like my brother Casey from (EAST) Singapore!

Please continue to pray for us at the Seminary. I have a strong conviction that if the Lord should visit us, the most strategic location is the Seminary – the very place where He had given the mandate to train leaders for His church. Join me in prayer for a spiritual revival here in campus. One student impacted is a whole congregation impacted and who knows, that very student may be a denomination head, a mission organization boss, etc.?! Please pray for me as I serve here in the Seminary. I’m having a great time here in the missions department, the graduate school & of course, the BM stream. And my studies? Couldn’t be better! Praise the Lord.

PS: So, have you decided what is the difference between preaching & teaching? Well, when we prepare to preach or to teach, two important elements are (1) to study the passage in its original context & I mean thorough study of it, (2) then the next step is applying it into our contemporary context. The following step is what makes the two different. When we prepare a message to preach, we proclaim it with an element of inviting or challenging a response from the hearers so that they are convicted in their thoughts – enough to spur their heart into acting out their responses. On the other hand, proclaiming the message by teaching is to teach the facts, how it can be applied into our lives and we leave it to the hearers to apply what they hear (that feed their knowledge). Most preachers, myself included, tend to pose a challenge when summing up the message. It is because, after we learn of God’s truth, we need to show our hearers how to apply them and challenge them to actually make that commitment of applying the truth that has been learnt. It’s not accomplished by a showing of hands or coming forward to the front for prayers but it is the assurance that these people are equipped enough and they are convinced enough that they need to actually practice what they hear. Imagine yourself in a cell group meeting. A message taught from the pulpit on Sunday is no different than the teaching you hear in your cell groups. But a message preached is a message that reasoned the head (knowledge), spur the heart (conviction by the Holy Spirit) & expressed through action. Well, in short, preaching is delivering a message containing an “aggressive” urge (challenge) for a response…something absent in teaching.

Ministry Update March 2007

I’m never a morning person. Having to wake up early is a drag. I prefer staying up late but never to wake up early. Because of that I was pretty worried when I was asked to lead the dawn prayer meeting in campus. They meet at 7am on every Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I stayed in campus hostel the day before so that I don’t have to wake up super early & drive through dark streets under the moonlight zig-zagging through the mountainous road to campus. And it was a great meeting. I did a little sharing & led a corporate repentance for ignoring our cousins and denying them the Good News. I appointed a few students to represent several people groups to pray for God’s forgiveness and I also asked a few foreign students to represent their nation to accept forgiveness of how Malaysians had treated them. I did not think I did a good job, yea – maybe I’m a bit of a perfectionist, after all, my secondary temperament is melancholy. But the response amazed me. One after another came to me to express how touched they were – both local and foreign students. Some even caught the passion to pursue further in such prayer and there are talks about planning an all-night prayer. So, please join me in prayer as we press in for a spiritual breakthrough at MBTS. I can feel it in my bones that we are coming near to a time of a great out-pouring of God’s power upon us. Where else is more strategic than the place where God had given the mandate to train leaders for His church? Please pray for Dr L, Amanda & myself to press on for a spiritual breakthrough in campus

At the same time last week, a Korean intercessory team was here. Several more are coming, from Korea and from America. Praise God that Penang is going to be so saturated by prayers! Great things are in store. I am very excited.

In a week’s time I’ll be teaching a week-long intensive course in BM. The very first time teaching the Bible in BM. Please pray for me. It’s not easy trying to converse/teach in a language with different Biblical terms. Pray for my students who are ministering in this language.

Pray for Michael S & myself as we launch the youth work at GBC South. I carry the conviction that youth today are leaders of today and this is Biblical. And youth work is not merely a “babysitting” ministry or an extension of children work. It is a distinct ministry of raising individuals at the cross road of childhood and adulthood. In fact, it is pretty much a “cross-cultural” effort.

Also, please pray for my thesis. I have started the initial ground research and I’m probably steering it into a narrower path to focus more on qualitative implication of data collected. And it’s a bit more focus than previously. I also need to consider its “sequel” because I’m extending the same topic into a dissertation.

Finally, thank you for your partnership in ministry. God is good all the time & all the time God is good.

Between the past & the future: Ministry Update February 2007

The previous week, I conducted two similar classes on writing forms. Though both consisted of very diverse groups of students, they share a similar concern – why the need to learn the various confusing writing forms? I wondered about this myself – why is the footnote done in this manner while the bibliography is done in that manner? Why the need to set the margin as such and such? Why indeed? But the years of learning, plus the many times of grading student papers, I have reached a conclusion. A standard writing format is important for the following reasons (though not comprehensive):
- it shows quality (if other organizations can strive for standardization, eg., the ISO certifications, why not the church? Aren’t we supposed to be the head and not the tail? (Deut. 28:13) We should be the one leading in excellence, not tailing far behind the world)
- we ought to present the best to God (if God takes us so seriously that He died for us, should we not take seriously everything He entrusted to us?)
- as we strive for (academic, especially) excellence, standardization exhibits professionalism
- God is a God of order, not confusion (1 Cor 14:33) – as such, a standard format is necessary

I’m presently studying the second last course to complete the credits required to fulfill my study program requirements. Please pray for me that as I complete the studies and work on my thesis, God will direct and lead me. I am truly enjoying ministry at MBTS. Probably because my temperament as a choleric-melancholy that makes “work” fun & fulfilling. I love having loads of tasks in my hands and in His own way, He speaks to me through this channel. I have not forgotten my mission nor my passion and calling. And I trust Him to take me to and through circumstances in order to mold me and prepare me for the ministry He is taking me to.

Differing from most Christians, the church is to me first universal before it is local. However, the view of the general Christian population will probably accept the church first as local before it is universal. Perhaps it is this differing perception that I find myself among a small distinct group of individuals who prefers ministering from a wider angle. What I mean is, seeing the universality of the church and ministering from that perspective. This include a, what I may address as “cross church effort” – meaning the coming together of Christians from various churches with a similar passion/conviction to serve in a ministry that seeks to honor God and bless His church. This is how I would define “Kingdom Perspective” – looking beyond each local church and seeking to glorify the Lord, pooling together efforts/talents/gifts with a common passion which is to grow the Kingdom of God. I believe the Great Commission (Matt. 28:18-20; Mark 16:15; Luke 24: 44-49; Acts 1:7-9; John 20:21) specify “ministry policy” – equip and go forth – and it is only when we obediently comply to this “policy” that the Lord will truly proper what is “at home.”

Luke 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

A Subtle Crisis

For my recent graduate seminar, I did a paper on “Women in Missions.” Along the research period, I was tempted to change my thesis title to one related to this. I was inspired by what I discovered. Saddened to observe the foolishness of the fallen human nature. Why? Because when gender difference caused a discrimination that forbids one gender from serving in some ministry capacity, the work is stunted by half. My research took me to explore books written as early as in 1929 where authors (men) were already rallying for gender equality. These books were written by Western authors and just as we may think gender discrimination is becoming less in the West, surprise…surprise! Even until 2003, which was the latest book I consulted on women in ministry, women authors are advocating gender equality…

Those in my graduate seminar are “top guns” in their own capacities/ministries. I’ve heard their comments. But I would like to hear from the members at large. Is this thing of gender discrimination prevalent in the church today? In this nation? I must be careful to add that certain denominations are “more conservative” than others.

I remember someone coming into my office & saw a book by a lady mission historian & he brushed it aside, asking me why I would read a book that promotes “feminist theology.” Honestly, I do not understand why men are so fearful to accept women as their equal. In Women in the Maze: Questions and Answers on Biblical Equality the author raised several thought provoking questions. I’m glad I came across this book. Among many topics, it talks about the power of Jesus’ resurrection. That if Jesus had come, we human species no longer are under “the curse” (Gen. 3). If we truly believe Jesus had come, we can go beyond the curse. So, why still live under the bondage of the curse. This is mere foolishness to me. I know there is a school of thought that believes “leadership is male” & I would say these people are pretty ignorant. There is a difference between roles and functions. Personally, I am convicted that with the resurrection of Jesus, the church now can strive towards the original order of creation. Not to perfection – as long as we are on this side of heaven – but as near as we can.

Jesus saw both genders as equal in “value” to the Kingdom. Paul saw both genders as equal partners in ministry. They were radicals, won’t you say? But how about today in the 21st century? I remember quoting a caption of chorus from a song by ZZ Top. I don’t remember the title but I sure remember well one phrase that stood out “18th century brain, in the 21st century head.” And this is true in many circumstances. The church with its strong male adherence literally is pushing women to serve in the mission field where she can use her God-given gifts to serve. My challenge to the skeptic is to study history & to discover for yourself how we owe women who strongly persisted in using their gifts to serve God.

William Booth, who founded the Salvation Army with his wife Catherine commented that “My best men were women.”[1] Leaders like D.L. Moody, A.B. Simpson, and A.J. Gordon believed in encouraging women's gifts for public ministry. Both J. Hudson Taylor, founder of China Inland Mission, and Fredrik Franson, founder of TEAM (The Evangelical Alliance Mission), saw the need to recruit and send women to evangelize cross-culturally. In 1888, Taylor wrote, "We are manning our stations with ladies."[2] Throughout its initial history, his mission expected women, both single and married, to carry out all the missionary duties, including preaching and teaching. (extract from “Women in Missions” research paper)

The names quoted above are “big names” in history & they saw the value of including women in ministry…the result? Just read history.

In the midst of equality concern within the church today, this is a challenge. It is a challenge of and for the church to show in its life that it believes the gospel – that women as well as men are created in the image of God, that women as well as men are saved and set free by Jesus Christ and that because women and men are baptized into one Lord Jesus Christ, distinctions between women and men disappear and should not affect the life of the church. God calls the church to share in the struggle for liberation of all people, especially women. The church can only do so when it ceases to oppose its own members and let those of its members who suffer oppression in society direct its mission.[3]

That was my concluding paragraph. (I’ll be glad to oblige any request for further bibliography) In the corporate sector, women has to be twice as good to be accepted as an equal but in ministry, women just has got to be three times as anointed to be accepted as an equal. And it still puzzles me – if we truly believe the Bible & its teachings, if we truly confess faith in Jesus, why? Why the discrimination? I cannot comprehend. And I still fail to understand. For the next generation – the present generation of the so-called young adults – if they have lady bosses in their offices, if they themselves are bosses, the church has certainly lost its relevance if she still wants women to stay silent in church and refuse women the same opportunity as men to lead.

When women say that they feel left out or like second class citizens, they are often labeled radical feminists, aggressive or just plain unspiritual[4]

Am I promoting a “feminist theology”? No, on the contrary, I am appealing a return to Biblical teachings that must be extracted from cultural practices. It is the failure of the church if we do not disciple a believer until he/she experiences a transformation of worldview – from his/her old worldview to that of a Biblical worldview. And again, let me stress here, that a Biblical worldview is distinct from Biblical culture.

Read this quote,

Imagine the possibilities such a combination [cooperation of both genders] might create: strength working in tandem with stamina, the male’s laser-like focus expanding to take in the female’s quest for meaningful connections enriching the male’s determination to get things done. In theology, business, education, and communications; there is an emerging recognition of a different vision, a different voice, a different viewpoint – a female one, neither inferior nor superior, neither right nor wrong, neither better nor worse, but one that may open up new and unexplored possibilities for both sexes.[5]

It is truly my prayer that the church will rise to be the community she ought to be. Talk about love, talk about unity but beneath that is this issue of gender equality that we must confront now, in the 21st century.



[1] Marguerite Kraft “Distinctly Female” in Frontline Women (Pasedena, CA: William Carey Library, 2003), pg 76

[2] Marguerite Kraft and Meg Crossman Women in Missions http://www.thetravelingteam.org/2000/articles/women2.shtml

[3] Virginia Fabella and Sun Ai Lee Park (eds) We Dare to Dream: Doing Theology as Asian Women (Maryknoll, NY: Orbis Books, 1989) pg 153-4

[4] Lorry Lutz Women as Risk Takers for God (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books 1997) pg 241

[5] Diane Hales Just Like A Woman: How Gender Science is Redefining What Makes Us Female (NY: Bantan Books, 1999) quoted in Marguerite Kraft “Distinctly Female” in Frontline Women (Pasedena, CA: William Carey Library, 2003) 337